As I was running/elliptical 7 miles this A.M, I tuned into a new cd I bought called Passion: Here for You. I usually workout to heavy music, rap, or something to keep my energy pumping… Well, I was talking to my good friend Charles Hill, who runs to praise and worship (but believe me it is not because he thinks that is the only music you should listen to…the man is real), and felt that I wanted to relax a bit while running. Did not think that I would find my self about balling (had one tear roll down, not sweat and quickly wiped it off) , and it is hard to want to lift my hands while on the elliptical….so I just put my head in my towel, and listened to these lyrics….. THIS IS WHERE THE BEST BLOG YET COMES…. not my words but these

Forever Reign- (sung by Kristian Stanfill on the cd)

You are good, You are good
When there’s nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see

You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering

You are joy, You are joy
You’re the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost its sting

Oh, I’m running to Your arms,
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim

You are here, You are here
In Your presence I’m made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I’m letting go

Oh, I’m running to Your arms
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

My heart will sing
no other Name
Jesus, Jesus

Oh, I’m running to Your arms
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

I did chuckle at first that I was running on the elliptical while he was singing running to your arms…..but in all honesty…I began to push harder and harder, exerting more effort. I am beginning to realize that Jesus is all I need….take all the crap that you could be put through…who is left. All the pain that you are going through, who is there? When those around you hurt…who is there? When Japan is devastated, who restores? When someone is on trial and a family is being put through emotional hell…Who comforts? When someone tells you to change how you sing…to whom do you sing however the heck you want to? When you are told to move to a place that no one understands…who told you to go? When there is something that you want something soooooo bad that looks out of reach….who restores hope? Who shows you how to love the unlovable?

Can people see that Christ is evident in your life? Are you able to be you, by knowing Christ alone?

Many of you have heard the news, whether it has been on facebook, the Lima News, or even the story that was done on WLIO (above) last night about PFC. Curt Yetman (a recent Allen East grad), but what people have truly got to understand is the love that his father feels for him, and the anguish that this has got to be putting him(Curt) and them (family) through. I have spoken with Bill (who I have known for a long time, dated back to when Curt played little league with my brother in law) on a few occasions since this has happened and although he is sooooo thankful for the prayers that have been prayed so far, you can tell there is a definite need for those to CONTINUE LIKE IT WILL NOT GO OUT OF STYLE.

I received a text from Coach Yetman today that read like this… ” Some very good people have organized a vigil for Curt. Tonight @ 8. Southside Church corner of Elm and Eastown Rds. Love to see you there. He’s coming home tomorrow!!” I immediately picked up my phone and called him…excited for what I am thinking is a homecoming like no other, one with assurance that Curt will recover, that he will be fine, and that he is stable enough to make the trip and wanted to assure him that I will be there tonight.

When I called, I said awesome news that he is coming back to the states… although he is glad that he may get to see his son soon, he asked if I could relay this message to people that I talked with…Although it looks like they may send Curt back to the states, he is not out of the dark so to say. He is in an induced coma, and has 3rd degree burns over a great portion of his body. He was traveling with I believe 7 other soldiers when their vehicle was blown up by a 700-1000 lb (from Bill) IED, and the vehicle was set ablaze. Curt was the gunner for the vehicle from what I hear, and when he was pulled from the vehicle he was still ablaze as well. Out of the 8 soldiers only 3 of them have survived…1 being our own Curt Yetman. He has been supported by 100% oxygen, but now I believe is down to the support of 60% (which is better) however it seems once an hour, his levels plummet. (they are saying that this is due to the damage possibly to the inner lining of his lungs from the explosion) The great news is, he is alive….the other news is, that Bill said he could be in the hospital for a very long time and could take from a year to a lifetime to recover….this being if Curt will make it through this. We know he is strong enough, and we know our God is capable of doing this! Bill also told me that he has had numerous surgeries (do not know what all they have intelled) and they do not know if Curt has enough skin to perform the grafts needed and they may have to use skin from cadavers (not trying to be gross, just wanting you to know the severity of this).

After talking with Bill, I immediately hung the phone up and began to cry in my office….one because the pain I felt for Curt, for Bill, and for the family involved, 2 because I have never been so proud of a soldier in my life, 3 because you never think this is going to happen to a soldier that you know, 4 because I have a son and if he came to me and said he was going to the military I would have reacted the same way Bill did. 5. Do we really understand a Father’s love.

My heart aches for the Yetman’s and I do not know how you are doing this Bill if you read this (I do know that it is only the strength of God that can get you through this). My mind continues to race, why are we over there, why do people give their lives for this, why Curt, why this family, why someone with so much potential….then it hit me…Curt has really seen this country, and our freedom as something to risk his life for, something that he believes in sooo much that come hell or high water, or explosion or under fire….he would put his life at danger for the freedom that we have. Curt is doing in a military sense and an American Freedom sense…what Christ did for us in a Spiritual and physical sense.

You see I have been consistently reminded that there are two types of people that have died for you…..one being a soldier, and the second being Jesus Christ. The soldier risks his life for us to have the freedom that we have here, and Jesus gave His life for the freedom that we have in Him. If you are experiencing the one without the other, than you are not getting total Freedom! I am at a loss for words while speaking with Bill, and him knowing that people are praying for him is what is keeping him going! My prayer is that all of us that are praying for Curt, truly understand who we are praying to, and the power that we have through Him! If you do not have a relationship with Christ, and understand His dying for you….you cannot truly be praying for the Yetmans…just thinking about them!

Bill…I love you brother, and want you to know from the bottom of my heart…that I have never been burdened with prayer so much in my life….I believe that God has this right now and will continue to…and I pray that in some way shape or form…you can see God in this!!

That being said….I still can justify wanting to see those who have done this brought to justice….and we all know what i mean by that!

Thanks Curt and know that we will continue to pray for you!!

If anyone has questions…please ask!

How do you picture Jesus…seriously…what does He look like to you, who is He to you…How do you represent Him to others, do you actually represent Him or counterfeit Him.  I am realizing who He is to me, and pray that this blog may encourage you today, that during this “Holy Week”  He is soooo different to sooooo many, but yet the same to all of us as well!  Please feel free to comment!

Before you read on….as I normally do…please watch and listen to this music video (it is not an official video but is the real song)

So yesterday I went to church with the wife….and honestly on the way there I asked God one thing….PLEASE KICK MY BUTT TODAY?  It seems that of late I am wanting to be so effective in my faith, but yet am not knowing which way I need to step it up! I am busy, but that is it!  I am being used by God, and have alot of things in the works, but yet really wanting to desire God soooo much, that I am really refocusing who I am , and not wanting to be labeled for what I do at all and really do not care what anyone thinks of what I do.  I am really wanting what God does through what He gives me to succeed but do not want any of the credit so to say!  Anyways….I walk into church and the message that was given by Pastor Daniel yesterday was what God wanted me to hear!

the title was- Who do you say I am? (taken from Mark 8:29)

in Mark 8:29 Jesus says  “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Christ.”

This was great and all but when it really started to hit home is when Pastor Daniel started telling us who Jesus was to him…I really could feel the Holy Spirit’s presence and in that moment I knew that God was say….hey Tug…who do you say that I am!  I looked at my life….and said I need to write this out…I need to think on this and really choose who JESUS is to me!  Who He is when no one is around, and just flat out decide if I want to be known by being a fun loving laid back guy, or known because of the God that I serve!  So here is who Jesus is to me!  I will do my best to make this known every day by my actions and love for you!  Yes even you, who really do not agree with me!

So here we go… MY JESUS

• is my Savior (who came down from His place on high, stepped into the gates of hell and bore my sin…that is a crap load by itself and he had to carry the rest of the worlds too!)
• is my Father- disciplines when needed, loves when needed, cares when needed, and always calls me his son- no matter how i have wronged him!
• is so giving- I have the best wife and children and family in the world…He has soooooooo blessed me, and it has taken me 10 years to figure this out!
• is my Acceptance (for so many times I battled with living for you(people), that only because of Him I am accepted and do not need your acceptance…but I do value it)
• Loves the “Hell” right out of people- is not afraid to walk into a bar, a different church no matter what denomination, and love on people and that right there is what draws them to Him! His love and pursuit of people…in which I believe is what draws me to Him as well!
• is THERE- wherever I go, no matter when or if you are not there….HE IS!
• is SOOOOOO FORGIVING-  He chooses me, in spite of me, and yet I screw up so many times that I wonder why He continues to forgive, then I look at the cross and see why!
• is Jealous-  I focus on so many things that he is constantly reminding me to live for Him….HE wants my time, my love, my family, and wants me to enjoy life, but give Him the glory…that He is sooooo deserving!
• is my Hope- When I get down, or even when I am up….HE IS MY HOPE….or at least is supposed to be..alot of times I get wrapped into thinking that the Hope is in this world…when in all honesty as Daniel put it yesterday…the world guarantees you one thing…problems!
• is Patient-I look at my life and He knows my heart, He has too…cause deep down I want to love Him sooooo much, but alot of times outwardly it is not apparent, and needs to be!
• Loves Rock Music and CCM music and maybe even U2…lol- in the past 7 years whether you like it or not, has started the ministry called WillRock4Food and has done things through it that only He can do
• Is my peace- my life has been a wreck, in the last year, I have been laid off, lost students, still dealing with the loss of my Grandma, personal struggles and ministry struggles, fighting with God, and others and finally realize…HE IS MY PEACE! in the midst of problems, I do not worry because He is in control!
• is My ambition- Alot of people look at what I do as being prideful sometimes, and if you would get to know me, you would know at the core of me, is to do whatever it takes to get the tasks done that Jesus has given me!  I come acrossed pushy sometimes, but I believe that God has entrusted me to exalt Him with my responsibilities and if I am not busting my rear to do these responsibilities well, than who am I doing them for…Jesus did not go to the cross HALF WAY!
• is always moving- I do not think that He sits in one place and just waits on things to happen…I believe He is always on the move in and around us and wants us to constantly be moving to learn more and love more for Him!
• is my Provider- I can honestly say, that I do not know how it happens and that is the way He loves it…Got laid off, and did not miss a check, but more than that, I never questioned that but yet was wondering where I was going to be…
• is moving from being lord of my life to LORD OF MY LIFE- I have not been great at Him being everything to me, and am moving to allowing Him to be LORD over all!
• is suprising-  if you asked me last year where I would be at this time…I would not have told you…where I am at today…I would have said…a youth pastor of this church (do not know which one)  but now this is where He has me…National Sales Director for Radius Gateway ( http://www.radiusgateway.com ), Exec. Director of Will Rock 4 Food ( http://www.willrock4food.com ), and newly hired coordinator of THE STICKS ( http://www.thesticks.tv ) I am sooooooo stoked about the last thing (the Sticks) in which it is not something that I even saw coming and God spoke to the team and they called….GOD JUST FLOORS ME!
• Humbling-  I so am just happy to be His…
• is my teacher
• is my friend
• is my butt kicker
• shows me how to be a better dad and husband and son and friend
• has taught me that I love you….no matter what you have ever done to me…seriously!
• needs me to LOVE HIM MORE!
• looks past the Shell to see the inside!

I am not putting this out there for you to read…but merely for me to hold myself accountable!  I realize of late that what you speak, comes from your heart, and if others hear your heart, than you know that is what was needed to be shared!  I am a work in progress…a mess at the least, but yet God finds in me something and wants me to know His Son…and to know that I am His!!

If you need to discuss anything….feel free to call me at 419-236-3107 , I am not the most theologically deep person in the world….BUT I BELIEVE I LOVE AND CARE WITH THE BEST OF THEM!!

-Unworthy But His!
Tug

But there is nothing normal about today.  Just think about everything that must function properly for you to survive! (Page 39 of Crazy Love, by Francis Chan)

I was driving out to work the other day, and I was thinking this exact thing, in fact I actually spoke this to Angie the other day!  Do we actually realize how much we are not in control.  As Francis points out in this book and as I realized the other day ( I was not in a wreck, I just thought this), we drive down the road at 65, well maybe 70-75, 80 if you are my mom, and we pass cars going the opposite way.  We do not think about or even remotely wonder if that car that is coming has been kept up well, or if the driver is alert, or if his tire is gonna burst, or if he is updating his facebook status while driving.  We simply think that he is in control of his car, and I am in control of mine or maybe we do not even think anything, because we really think that we are going to live past today, and for quite sometime.  We do not think about how our heart is beating on perfect rhythm, or if our kidneys are functioning right.  As Francis points out, ” the only people that think about their kidneyes functioning right, are those with kidney problems.”  This is the way it is with our life, we do not realize how short it is, we do not even begin to chew, or even touch this verse. “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”  James 4:13-14

This 2nd chapter of Crazy Love has opened my eyes to quite a few thoughts! Do I really know that I am not in control of my life in totality.  Do I realize that God is ultimately the One who is in control and at any second my life could vanish and in a twinkling of an eye, I could be gone. Am I ready for that? How have I prepared my life in a way so that the preacher will not have to lie at my funeral ( I used to have a shirt that said that)  Think about that, have you ever been to a funeral where the preacher says something bad about the person that is being buried? (Francis points this out in the book) I mean we sit there and think, well he/she was not that great of a person, but it is like an unwritten law that you have to say everything positive about the person that has died.

I have done 9 funerals in my life as a pastor(6 of them have been car accidents), and each one of them have been very hard to speak  at and walk through, I have buried 5 of my teenagers, my friends Grandpa, my wife’s grandpa, my cousin, and my own Grandma, and for the most part only one of them did I truly know well enough (now do not think that all of them were bad, in fact my cousin come to find out was really someone that I wish I would have known better, she truly loved well) to know that every word that was coming out of my mouth that day was the truth.

There was this lady named Marilyn Conrad (my Grandma), who lived every waking minute, up until her last breathe at the Nursing Home in Wapakoneta, Ohio, for Christ.  I mean every second…well there was that one time she, my mom and Angie came down to visit me at church camp, and she fell out of bed and cussed….oh and that one time, her son Jim was taking  a corner too fast and she let another one go….but literally if you knew my Grandma, you have met someone authentic!  Someone who spent every waking minute praying, praising, teaching, thinking and knowing who God was to her, and in her what we would call battle with Cancer, it was not a battle to her, just another day closer to glory (as my buddy Mark would say) Now that I look back on her life, and I am thankful that I knew her the way I did, I realize that the biggest effect that she has had on my life is not the fact that she was my best of friends, but the simple fact that since I knew her, I was able to see someone who knew their life was a vapor and was going to live it that way.

So here we sit, as a human, we are worried about what car we want, what toy we are going to buy our kids for Christmas, what the job looks like, what tomorrow will bring,when we do not even know if we are going to get there! Seriously, think about it, I am getting ready to go to bed tonight and as I sit here, I have always wondered how our bodies rest and then wake back up, it is a big deal of everything working together.  So with that in mind I have got a complete decision to make, if I am just an “extra” in this movie of life, and I, much to my own demise am not the main character, but the movie is all about “God”  what am I doing to make Him more visible…..HOW MANY CAMERA ANGLES AM I GIVING PEOPLE ABOUT GOD IN MY LIFE.  Your life is not about you….sorry….the promotion, the money, the presents, the sex, the beer, the partying, you will not even remember some of the people, and as Francis Chan points out, NO ONE WILL KNOW YOU IN 50 years, in fact hardly anyone that you know will remember you in 50 years…so quit living as if you are going to live forever, and the people that are around you are always going to be there!

It sucks to think about but it is true!

I guess what I am getting from this chapter is this….you and your relationship with God is the only thing that matters,  on page 42 it says that Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what is happening in our lives, and that Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control!  These two things keep us from realizing that God is in control and handing the reins over to HIM.

Do you need to simply sit back, and really know that He is in control, can you be like my Grandma and Rejoice in every moment of your life….if you got cancer today, would you have to change the way you are walking.  You see some people have a great reputation and that is it…In Revelation 3:1 it says “I know your deeds,you have a reputation of being alive,but you are dead.

WAKE UP…you are not hear for that long….so live your life so they do not have to question what the preacher is speaking at your funeral!!

This counts as my Thursday blog…if I make it that far

Please read the below story….thoughts below

MUMBAI (Reuters) – City authorities in Mumbai demolished the shanty home of a “Slumdog Millionaire” child star on Thursday, forcing his family into the streets months after the Oscar-winning film shot him to global fame.

Azharuddin Ismail, 9, played the character of Salim as a child in the film, a rags-to-riches romance about a poor Indian boy competing for love and money on a television game show.

Ismail’s tarpaulin-covered home in a teeming slum was one of several shanties, illegally built along a drain, that were demolished by local authorities in Mumbai, India’s financial capital and entertainment hub.

“When they came I was sleeping, they shook me awake and one policeman even threatened me,” Ismail, surrounded by half-broken suitcases filled with clothes and utensils, told Reuters.

“What can I do if they have demolished my house? I will sleep out in the open.”

A poster of “Slumdog Millionaire,” signed by director Danny Boyle, fluttered from the only wall of Ismail’s shanty still standing. Open sewers run nearby and it had no running water.

Authorities said the shanties had been demolished earlier but had sprung up again on the same spot.

“The shanties are all touching a drain that has to be cleaned before the advent of the monsoons,” said U.D. Mistry, the local official in charge of the demolition drive.

Earlier this year, there was an outcry after pictures emerged of “Slumdog Millionaire’s” child stars living in squalor despite the movie’s box-office success and eight Academy Awards.

The film also sparked controversy for its name, deemed by some to be offensive to slum dwellers, and its treatment of the cast. Its depiction of the lives of poor Indians was dubbed “poverty porn” by sections of the media.

In February, the housing authority of Maharashtra state, of which Mumbai is the capital, said they would give Ismail and fellow child star Rubina Ali new houses. But Ismail’s mother, Shameem, said the family is now at the mercy of the rains.

“We also heard that the government had promised us houses, but what happened? We are still homeless,” she said. “My son has brought glory to the country, shouldn’t he get some credit?”

(Writing by Tony Tharakan; Editing by Matthias Williams and Paul Tait)

Usually I will not blog about things of hollywood as far as movies, because it never really effects me as far as emotionally or any thoughts that pop in my head that I have to share, but this is a different story.  If you have not seen Slumdog Millionaire, you need to go right now to your local Redbox, or Video Rental place, or for that matter, you will like the movie so much that you should possibly just buy it!  The story is a rags to riches story that is filmed in a dramatic way, but even watching the movie, you really do not see the complete effect until a story like this surfaces…On Oscar winning movie, and yet these kids are still living in the slums…it shows me a few things.  It really is crap that this kid who was such a vital part of the movie, is not able to live in a normal home, while us in America sit in what we think are not lavish homes, but look at the shed in which they live in that we can purchase at our local hardware store for less than $50.00.  I mean seriously there are so many situations like this that are surfacing, that we as believers need to take into consideration in which avenue we are truly showing others the Kingdom!  

I am writing this as well to challenge as many people to this following email. My mom recently visited Africa and has since learned that she and all of us can purchase a lot of land that can turn into an orphanage…..I cannot describe it any better, so I will just let you read the email straight from Africa!!

Dear Janelle, How are you and the ministry ,How is Rock,Gabe and Tug,the two daughter in-laws and the six grandchildren? hope they are fine in the name of Jesus christ.I am so happy to receive a letter from you once a gain,we are excited .Everybody is fine and the ministry is doing okay.The children and the staff are doing fine .Dad is recovering and getting strong and we thank God for that.  Janelle I know it is the will of God to have those pieces of Land,because if the devil have them it will mean a different thing to the children ministry and the impact it will have to the children within the community.Isaiah 54 as from verse 1 on wards says we should expand to right and to the left and we should not spare.You see people have been coming to buy it and letter disagree,they want to develop it and just everything comes to a stand still.God is still holding that land for us.I totally believe it is the will of God to have those land to his glory.There are territorial demons that control the people in this area and they want to have their agents to posses everything so that they can control the area efectively,but we the children of God are here and we will take charge.    I also believe your ministry is in Africa,Kenya(Matisi and expanding) and your coming will mean a plus to the kingdom of God and destruction to the kingdom of darkness.I know that God is able to abound all grace towards you so that you will be safficient in all things also to preach the word.God wants the people Get saved more than we want,so he will provide,amen.Concerning the people to work with let me also pray about it.     Tell Tug,the ministry that God gave Him is still intact and that is the blessing, wherever he goes he will prosper ,for the path of the just is like a shinning light that shines ever brighter unto a perfect day.Read Deut 28.      Did you get the details that Pst Patricia was asking?Greet her in the name of Jesus . Dorcas is fine and Gloria with everybody around me,Dorcas misses you and longs to see you,Hug that great man of God, Rock we miss him too. Bye for now,you are blessed. Benson  So how can you help…..this land can be purchased right now for a total of 5,000 dollars, and if you would like to help, please either contact me on Facebook, Twitter, email me (tug@willrock4food.com) or my mother at janelle@unreined.com   If we can get 100 $50.00 donations, we are done and imagine how many lives will be touched!!! Here is an actual picture of Benson in the orphanage that was without Mattresses until mom actually was able to assist in the purchasing of the mattresses for this room!!  Let us get them another orphanage!! Let our love be motivated by that of Christ!!!  Let us turn their lives around by our love for God!! Will continue to update people on the process of this!! Unworthy but His and always wanting to Bust Satan in the Mouth!!  Tug Taviano Twitter:  tugtaviano Facebook: Tug Taviano Email: tug@willrock4food.com