Before you read on….as I normally do…please watch and listen to this music video (it is not an official video but is the real song)

So yesterday I went to church with the wife….and honestly on the way there I asked God one thing….PLEASE KICK MY BUTT TODAY?  It seems that of late I am wanting to be so effective in my faith, but yet am not knowing which way I need to step it up! I am busy, but that is it!  I am being used by God, and have alot of things in the works, but yet really wanting to desire God soooo much, that I am really refocusing who I am , and not wanting to be labeled for what I do at all and really do not care what anyone thinks of what I do.  I am really wanting what God does through what He gives me to succeed but do not want any of the credit so to say!  Anyways….I walk into church and the message that was given by Pastor Daniel yesterday was what God wanted me to hear!

the title was- Who do you say I am? (taken from Mark 8:29)

in Mark 8:29 Jesus says  “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Christ.”

This was great and all but when it really started to hit home is when Pastor Daniel started telling us who Jesus was to him…I really could feel the Holy Spirit’s presence and in that moment I knew that God was say….hey Tug…who do you say that I am!  I looked at my life….and said I need to write this out…I need to think on this and really choose who JESUS is to me!  Who He is when no one is around, and just flat out decide if I want to be known by being a fun loving laid back guy, or known because of the God that I serve!  So here is who Jesus is to me!  I will do my best to make this known every day by my actions and love for you!  Yes even you, who really do not agree with me!

So here we go… MY JESUS

• is my Savior (who came down from His place on high, stepped into the gates of hell and bore my sin…that is a crap load by itself and he had to carry the rest of the worlds too!)
• is my Father- disciplines when needed, loves when needed, cares when needed, and always calls me his son- no matter how i have wronged him!
• is so giving- I have the best wife and children and family in the world…He has soooooooo blessed me, and it has taken me 10 years to figure this out!
• is my Acceptance (for so many times I battled with living for you(people), that only because of Him I am accepted and do not need your acceptance…but I do value it)
• Loves the “Hell” right out of people- is not afraid to walk into a bar, a different church no matter what denomination, and love on people and that right there is what draws them to Him! His love and pursuit of people…in which I believe is what draws me to Him as well!
• is THERE- wherever I go, no matter when or if you are not there….HE IS!
• is SOOOOOO FORGIVING-  He chooses me, in spite of me, and yet I screw up so many times that I wonder why He continues to forgive, then I look at the cross and see why!
• is Jealous-  I focus on so many things that he is constantly reminding me to live for Him….HE wants my time, my love, my family, and wants me to enjoy life, but give Him the glory…that He is sooooo deserving!
• is my Hope- When I get down, or even when I am up….HE IS MY HOPE….or at least is supposed to be..alot of times I get wrapped into thinking that the Hope is in this world…when in all honesty as Daniel put it yesterday…the world guarantees you one thing…problems!
• is Patient-I look at my life and He knows my heart, He has too…cause deep down I want to love Him sooooo much, but alot of times outwardly it is not apparent, and needs to be!
• Loves Rock Music and CCM music and maybe even U2…lol- in the past 7 years whether you like it or not, has started the ministry called WillRock4Food and has done things through it that only He can do
• Is my peace- my life has been a wreck, in the last year, I have been laid off, lost students, still dealing with the loss of my Grandma, personal struggles and ministry struggles, fighting with God, and others and finally realize…HE IS MY PEACE! in the midst of problems, I do not worry because He is in control!
• is My ambition- Alot of people look at what I do as being prideful sometimes, and if you would get to know me, you would know at the core of me, is to do whatever it takes to get the tasks done that Jesus has given me!  I come acrossed pushy sometimes, but I believe that God has entrusted me to exalt Him with my responsibilities and if I am not busting my rear to do these responsibilities well, than who am I doing them for…Jesus did not go to the cross HALF WAY!
• is always moving- I do not think that He sits in one place and just waits on things to happen…I believe He is always on the move in and around us and wants us to constantly be moving to learn more and love more for Him!
• is my Provider- I can honestly say, that I do not know how it happens and that is the way He loves it…Got laid off, and did not miss a check, but more than that, I never questioned that but yet was wondering where I was going to be…
• is moving from being lord of my life to LORD OF MY LIFE- I have not been great at Him being everything to me, and am moving to allowing Him to be LORD over all!
• is suprising-  if you asked me last year where I would be at this time…I would not have told you…where I am at today…I would have said…a youth pastor of this church (do not know which one)  but now this is where He has me…National Sales Director for Radius Gateway ( http://www.radiusgateway.com ), Exec. Director of Will Rock 4 Food ( http://www.willrock4food.com ), and newly hired coordinator of THE STICKS ( http://www.thesticks.tv ) I am sooooooo stoked about the last thing (the Sticks) in which it is not something that I even saw coming and God spoke to the team and they called….GOD JUST FLOORS ME!
• Humbling-  I so am just happy to be His…
• is my teacher
• is my friend
• is my butt kicker
• shows me how to be a better dad and husband and son and friend
• has taught me that I love you….no matter what you have ever done to me…seriously!
• needs me to LOVE HIM MORE!
• looks past the Shell to see the inside!

I am not putting this out there for you to read…but merely for me to hold myself accountable!  I realize of late that what you speak, comes from your heart, and if others hear your heart, than you know that is what was needed to be shared!  I am a work in progress…a mess at the least, but yet God finds in me something and wants me to know His Son…and to know that I am His!!

If you need to discuss anything….feel free to call me at 419-236-3107 , I am not the most theologically deep person in the world….BUT I BELIEVE I LOVE AND CARE WITH THE BEST OF THEM!!

-Unworthy But His!
Tug

I have to admit, this morning I came in to work early to make sure that I get a few things done, but another reason I like getting to work early, is the fact that my office is quiet before 9, with usually only Mark (my brother from another mother) Aaron (accountant who is a great guy and fellow believer) , Kristy (our Shipping and Receiving backbone, and fellow believer) and Bob (someone, who I have the utmost respect for, and have grown to understand).  This morning was no different, except the fact that  I find myself fighting back tears, not that anything has happened to me , or that I am completely out of line, but simply I read a question that was posed by John Piper but can be found in the book Crazy Love on page 100…Here it is!

The critical question for our generation- and every generation-is this:   If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied, if Christ was not there?

I asked myself this question this morning and almost began crying…I am getting it, I am really getting it.  I have been fighting this for so long and truly wondering what is enough for Christ, not out of guilt, not out of fear, or anything, but what in totality does Christ want from me.  This question put it all in perspective…If I get to see Grandma again, if I can enjoy my kids and wife when in heaven, La Charreada, Will Rock 4 Food, Mom and Dad and my Brother Gabe’s fam, and other family, the Buckeyes, Racquetball, the elliptical, and yes the Cleveland Browns, If I had all of these earthly things in heaven, would I be satisfied with being in heaven with these if Christ was not there…..HOLY FREAKIN CRAP, that is a wake up call if I have ever seen one.  I mean think about it, does alot of your thought of Heaven focus on the fact of who you are going to meet when you get there, or the fact that you get to spend the rest of eternity in the presence of Christ. I must answer that I do the same…and that is not cool, but still ok!  I do not think, It is going to be the thing that I have longed for, for my whole life, to die and be in the presence of God for eternity and think that is enough. But my eyes are open, and I see that the true importance of this life is not the complete result in the end, although do not get me wrong, I believe that I am the biggest fan of getting to spend the rest of my life in heaven, but the biggest thing is the way that I am running to God on this earth right now!

The fact is that I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to love Him, I definitely need His help to love other, fault filled human beings.  I mean think about it, we cannot love God well without God, we would lose or focus. So the major thing that we need to think about is the fact that we need God to step in and show us exactly how to love Him, ourself and others and the only way to love others well, is to run straight to loving God, if we do this with all that we are, and we run to him because He is our refuge, instead of guilt, if we run to him, I mean with a laser focus…then watch what He does with our lives.  The fact is that we run towards Him, while carrying other things with us….I mean have you ever tried  to run while eating a box of twinkies, besides being self-defeating and sideache inducing, it would also be near impossible–you would have to stop running, in order to eat the twinkies. In the same way, you have to stop loving and pursuing Christ in order to sin! When you are running toward Christ, and pursuing love, you do not have the time to wonder, Am I doing this right, or did I serve enough this week!

So this is it, Is Christ enough to run after with just Himself being the result of why I am loving so much, or am I loving out of selfish guilt driven ambition!  My prayer today has been that I will take whatever that has been placed in front of God, even though He knows what my heart wants, will be put in a secondary role, and Him be my main reason for loving Him and people, the way that I do.  I challenge you to join me in this prayer.  Please leave a comment if you are not going to “Run with Twinkies” any longer.

Jesus, I need to give myself up, I am not strong enough to love YOU and walk with YOU on my own.  I can’t do it, and I need YOU.  I need YOU deeply and desperately.  I believe YOU are worth it,that YOU are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next.  I want YOU! And when I think I don’t, I want to want YOU.  Be all in me. Take all of me. Have your way with me! Amen

BE GREAT TODAY GUYS!! THINK OF WHO LOVES YOU!

Please read the below story….thoughts below

MUMBAI (Reuters) – City authorities in Mumbai demolished the shanty home of a “Slumdog Millionaire” child star on Thursday, forcing his family into the streets months after the Oscar-winning film shot him to global fame.

Azharuddin Ismail, 9, played the character of Salim as a child in the film, a rags-to-riches romance about a poor Indian boy competing for love and money on a television game show.

Ismail’s tarpaulin-covered home in a teeming slum was one of several shanties, illegally built along a drain, that were demolished by local authorities in Mumbai, India’s financial capital and entertainment hub.

“When they came I was sleeping, they shook me awake and one policeman even threatened me,” Ismail, surrounded by half-broken suitcases filled with clothes and utensils, told Reuters.

“What can I do if they have demolished my house? I will sleep out in the open.”

A poster of “Slumdog Millionaire,” signed by director Danny Boyle, fluttered from the only wall of Ismail’s shanty still standing. Open sewers run nearby and it had no running water.

Authorities said the shanties had been demolished earlier but had sprung up again on the same spot.

“The shanties are all touching a drain that has to be cleaned before the advent of the monsoons,” said U.D. Mistry, the local official in charge of the demolition drive.

Earlier this year, there was an outcry after pictures emerged of “Slumdog Millionaire’s” child stars living in squalor despite the movie’s box-office success and eight Academy Awards.

The film also sparked controversy for its name, deemed by some to be offensive to slum dwellers, and its treatment of the cast. Its depiction of the lives of poor Indians was dubbed “poverty porn” by sections of the media.

In February, the housing authority of Maharashtra state, of which Mumbai is the capital, said they would give Ismail and fellow child star Rubina Ali new houses. But Ismail’s mother, Shameem, said the family is now at the mercy of the rains.

“We also heard that the government had promised us houses, but what happened? We are still homeless,” she said. “My son has brought glory to the country, shouldn’t he get some credit?”

(Writing by Tony Tharakan; Editing by Matthias Williams and Paul Tait)

Usually I will not blog about things of hollywood as far as movies, because it never really effects me as far as emotionally or any thoughts that pop in my head that I have to share, but this is a different story.  If you have not seen Slumdog Millionaire, you need to go right now to your local Redbox, or Video Rental place, or for that matter, you will like the movie so much that you should possibly just buy it!  The story is a rags to riches story that is filmed in a dramatic way, but even watching the movie, you really do not see the complete effect until a story like this surfaces…On Oscar winning movie, and yet these kids are still living in the slums…it shows me a few things.  It really is crap that this kid who was such a vital part of the movie, is not able to live in a normal home, while us in America sit in what we think are not lavish homes, but look at the shed in which they live in that we can purchase at our local hardware store for less than $50.00.  I mean seriously there are so many situations like this that are surfacing, that we as believers need to take into consideration in which avenue we are truly showing others the Kingdom!  

I am writing this as well to challenge as many people to this following email. My mom recently visited Africa and has since learned that she and all of us can purchase a lot of land that can turn into an orphanage…..I cannot describe it any better, so I will just let you read the email straight from Africa!!

Dear Janelle, How are you and the ministry ,How is Rock,Gabe and Tug,the two daughter in-laws and the six grandchildren? hope they are fine in the name of Jesus christ.I am so happy to receive a letter from you once a gain,we are excited .Everybody is fine and the ministry is doing okay.The children and the staff are doing fine .Dad is recovering and getting strong and we thank God for that.  Janelle I know it is the will of God to have those pieces of Land,because if the devil have them it will mean a different thing to the children ministry and the impact it will have to the children within the community.Isaiah 54 as from verse 1 on wards says we should expand to right and to the left and we should not spare.You see people have been coming to buy it and letter disagree,they want to develop it and just everything comes to a stand still.God is still holding that land for us.I totally believe it is the will of God to have those land to his glory.There are territorial demons that control the people in this area and they want to have their agents to posses everything so that they can control the area efectively,but we the children of God are here and we will take charge.    I also believe your ministry is in Africa,Kenya(Matisi and expanding) and your coming will mean a plus to the kingdom of God and destruction to the kingdom of darkness.I know that God is able to abound all grace towards you so that you will be safficient in all things also to preach the word.God wants the people Get saved more than we want,so he will provide,amen.Concerning the people to work with let me also pray about it.     Tell Tug,the ministry that God gave Him is still intact and that is the blessing, wherever he goes he will prosper ,for the path of the just is like a shinning light that shines ever brighter unto a perfect day.Read Deut 28.      Did you get the details that Pst Patricia was asking?Greet her in the name of Jesus . Dorcas is fine and Gloria with everybody around me,Dorcas misses you and longs to see you,Hug that great man of God, Rock we miss him too. Bye for now,you are blessed. Benson  So how can you help…..this land can be purchased right now for a total of 5,000 dollars, and if you would like to help, please either contact me on Facebook, Twitter, email me (tug@willrock4food.com) or my mother at janelle@unreined.com   If we can get 100 $50.00 donations, we are done and imagine how many lives will be touched!!! Here is an actual picture of Benson in the orphanage that was without Mattresses until mom actually was able to assist in the purchasing of the mattresses for this room!!  Let us get them another orphanage!! Let our love be motivated by that of Christ!!!  Let us turn their lives around by our love for God!! Will continue to update people on the process of this!! Unworthy but His and always wanting to Bust Satan in the Mouth!!  Tug Taviano Twitter:  tugtaviano Facebook: Tug Taviano Email: tug@willrock4food.com

I have the ability with my iphone to make sure I know exactly where I am, and can even be followed by a little blue dot on my screen, depicting every turn I make, and telling me if I get off track!  I can zoom in as close as the street, or zoom out as far as the map will go…and it will still show me exactly where I am at, and where I need to be going.  I love this feature, and it has helped me get from point A to point B in the quickest fashion, but has it taken away some of the fun of trying to find your way to your final destination.

      from the book Still Waters and Skycrapers  

                Albert Einstein once boarded a train in Princeton, New Jersey, bound for Boston.  Upon finding a seat, he immediately started fumbling for his ticket, which he couldn’t find anywhere.  Noticing Einstein’s frantic search, the conductor reassured him: “Everyone on this train knows who you are Professor Einstein.  I don’t need to see your ticket.”  While looking relieved, Einstein carried on hunting for the missing ticket.  When the conductor came back along the train he saw the renowned scientist on his hands and knees looking under the seat.  He tapped Einstein on the shoulder and said, “Please. Professor, don’t worry about the ticket. I am quite sure you have one somewhere.”  To which Einstein replied, “No, no.  You don’t understand.  I need the ticket because I don’t know where I am going.”

               I am sure that Einstein was on a busy lecture tour covering many locations, but there is still something perversely comforting about the idea that one of the greatest minds n history could be so befuddled as to forget where he was going on a train journey.  There may be some hope for the rest of us, after all!

        We all have the stories of being lost!  We all have the regrets of making the wrong decisions, that have even possibly effected some portion of our lives, and we all have searched for the answers to actually try and figure out where exactly our life is heading, but isn’t the train ride enough!  Isn’t the fact that God is saying, Tug, I know you have your ticket, now stay in my seat, and let me take you to where you are supposed to be going!  I mean I can name the countless mistakes that I have made, for instance the time when we left Grace College in Indiana, to come back and do ministry full time, when we should have just stuck it out and finished my degree! I could either get hung up on the decisions of the past, or I could realize that these were part of the process of God shaping me in my journey with Him.  Although these are decisions that I really need to evaluate and possibly get going on reaching these lifelong goals, I would not trade in my ride for anything.  

      You see if God would give us a GPS of our life, and all we would have to do is really go from one thing to another, that would take the joy and pain of following Him out of the picture.  God gives us the opportunity to hear Him as clearly as we want to, and sometimes we hear ourselves over Him.  We jump at this and jump at that, and think that it is God!  We do not have the position that we think God wants us to have, and question the conductor of our life.  He is still in the driving seat, and He sees the road clearly ahead….so sit back put on your seatbelt, and enjoy the ride.  

       Now this is not a ride, that you have no part of, or that you just sit there comfortably….when He tells you to turn, turn.  When HE tells you to slam on the brakes, or push the pedal to the medal, do just that!!  But most importantly, keep your little BLUE DOT on his map, and watch where he takes you!!

IF you are curious to the complete information on the book that was stated above… here is the info

Still Waters and Skyscrapers : The 23rd Psalm for the 21st Generation, by Dave Tomlinson

I watch movies all of the time, and in fact I have actually never thought of the time that goes into building the set, making it look so amazing that when we watch it at home it looks real…but in all honesty, most of them only look real from the front.  As I have taken some vacations to Disney, and other theme parks, they always want you to feel that you are somewhere that you are not….main street of New York, Paris, whatever city it is, they want you actually to be able to live there for the time that you visit.  Have you ever had the opportunity to be backstage and actually see what they look like….If I am a guessin man and I am going to be… it looks like plywood and 2×4’s…something that you may actually not build a dog house out of because it will rot in a strong storm…or will break in a high wind!!

So I began to think…wow… is that not how alot of people spend their lives…like a movie set, where countless hours are spent trying to make people feel that you are stronger than what you are!  While inside you know that if a certain temptation comes, you will break and if people would actually dig a little deeper into your life, it would actually look like crap, and would people really want to follow or watch your movie if they actually knew what the set truly looked like?

I know this was a complete revelation for me…to actually let people see the crap of my life, so that my set could be authentic…and that it looks the same on the back as it does on the front?  Now there are constant times where I spend time rebuilding, or maybe I should actually say letting God have the tools, but letting people see who I really am, the true me!

For some thoughts from scripture that sort of relate to living real….

Mark 4:1-20 (New International Version)

Mark 4
The Parable of the Sower
1Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water’s edge. 2He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said: 3″Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. 8Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times.”

9Then Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

10When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. 11He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables 12so that,
” they may be ever seeing but never perceiving,
and ever hearing but never understanding;
otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!”

13Then Jesus said to them, “Don’t you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? 14The farmer sows the word. 15Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. 16Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. 17But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 18Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. 20Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown.”

Any thoughts???
For a fun exercise…if you were played in a movie who would be the actor or actress that portrays you, and what kind of movie would it be???
For me… I would want Kevin James to play me in a Comedy of course!!