I know the title drew you here, and that is what I wanted it to do… believe me, when you understand what we are getting at by the end of this blog, you will understand the title. It will help you understand God’s love for you.  (this is my blog on chapter 3 of Crazy Love, by Francis Chan)

Do you know that God loves you, Are you scared of Him and led to Him only by Guilt or do you really understand that He is flat out Crazy about you….do you come to him with all reserves aside and no care in the world, and realize that though you are mistake driven, God still loves YOU!!!

KNOWING GOD’S LOVE FROM MY DAD!

To get this to you I am gonna embelish my dad a little bit, and maybe you are not able to do this because you have not had a great relationship with your dad, and maybe that could be why it is hard for you to understand that God loves you.  Some of you know my dad, and you would never think that my dad is one of the most caring individuals. Maybe you saw him at a game in high school yelling at the refs, and almost getting kicked out of a game, or maybe you have just seen him.  He to the normal eye( we were at the fair this year and one of the CARNIES even told him he does not look like someone who follows the rules) looks like someone you would not want to upset!  That is where it is all wrong, my dad has one of the biggest hearts ever and one of the biggest images of love that a son could have ever seen.  My dad and I growing up and even now have one of the closest relationships that a son could ever ask for…why…because I knew from the beginning that he loved me.  Even the one time when I tried to give him a wedgie and he ripped my underwear off..LOL…Nothing impressed me more, than the using of his vacation days to come to our basketball games.  There was nothing like a backscratching from dad growing up. Everyone that I know that does not really know my dad always says…your dad is a beast., but never gets to see his tender heart! My dad has always provided in ways for us that I can never show enough gratitude, and has cared for my kids even so much, that they love their papaw Rock with all their hearts, why, because he loves them. So I must say that I can attribute a little bit of me knowing that my heavenly Father loves me because my dad has loved and loves me well.  But maybe you do not have the benefit that I had growing up, maybe your dad was not that loving of you, and you were always fearful of him…maybe he beat you, demeaned you, and never came to your events….sit back and think, can I attribute the way that I look at God, to the way that I have seen my earthly father. Now I know you are supposed to be fearful of God, but not led to pray, praise Him, spend time with Him out of strict guilt.

KNOWING GOD’S LOVE BY BEING A DAD!

Secondly I would like to discuss the love of my Heavenly Father towards me with the way that I view my relationship with my kids.  You see if you even have a remote clue of who I am, you know my kids.  If you have talked with me , you know all of the ins and outs of what my kid is saying today, what they did that was funny last night, what they want for Christmas, how much they mean to me. I want to give Morgan, Reese, and Tanner the best relationship that a dad could give their kids.  It all began when I heard that first cry in the delivery room, the moment that my oldest daughter took her first breath…then it was time to cut the umbilical cord….the time that she was going to have to rely on me for alot of things, and the time that I was going to spend loving for her (and my other 2 the same way) and caring for her in a way that no one else could. I watch them grow up and become more independent and love them even more.  The best feeling that I have is when that 5 o’clock bell strikes and I pack up my laptop and head home, and I cannot wait to get there. I walk up to the door and 90% of the time before I even get into the garage, that door pops open and out comes 3 of the most precious gifts that I could ever have asked for….to run up to me, hug me, give me a kiss, and let dad know how much they love Him.  Now really think about the love that I as their earthly father have for them and listen to these verses.

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! -Matthew 7:11  (I go overboard to make sure my kids enjoy life, now can you imagine if that is the case, how much God has in store with us, with his love?)

The word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; ” Jeremiah 1:4-5a (When my children were born, I felt a love like no other, realize that God had that feeling about us before we were born….wow….he set us apart, those who call Him FATHER….HE actually wants you!!!)

KNOWING GOD’S LOVE FROM HIS LOOKING PAST MY FAILURES AND LOVING ME!

This is where the title comes in, and I know before you were like…where is he gonna tie that in…You see when I was younger, when I did something wrong, there was always a result of some sort of punishment. Whether it was grounding, whether it was my grandma breaking a ruler over my butt, getting my mouth washed out with soap…whatever it was there was always a consequence for doing something wrong.  Now think about it, alot of times we are hesitant to think about the love that God really has for us, by really dwelling on how many times we have failed him….we tend to think about the failures sooooooo much more than the successes.  And we really want to outweigh the failures with the good. It will never happen! That does not mean we should not try to live set apart….it just means, we sin, and we need to know that God still loves us…(if you know the story of David…you may be able to get God looking past failures and calling someone a man after His heart) But in scripture there are two verses that tell me, I am not perfect and that my good deeds really nothing compared to God’s holiness.

No one is good-except God alone- Luke 18:19  (realize it people you are not gonna be perfect but we have someone that is there to love us, and accept us for who we are)

All our righteous acts are like filthy rags! Isaiah 64:6 (your good will never outweigh your sin) On page 60 of Crazy Love, Francis Chan says this .. ” The literal interpretation of ‘filthy rags’ in this verse is ‘menstrual garments’ (think used tampons…and if you are disgusted by that, then you get Isaiah’s point.  It is hard to imagine something more disgusting that we could brag about or put on display. But compared to God’s perfect holiness that is how our good deeds appear!

God’s mercy is a free, yet costly gift.  It cannot be earned. Our righteous acts, just like used tampons certainly don’t help us deserve it. (end of excerpt from book) No matter what you think, no matter what religion you are….your good works cannot get you to understand God’s perfect love for you.  You cannot earn your way to feel it.  It is something that has to be developed and through the relationship you will understand the love that He has for you.  If our good deeds are compared to one of the things that you never would think about talking about, than how do we get there.  We need to realize that it is only by God’s grace that we can ever know His love.  We know we deserve hell, but through God we can experience heaven (Romans 6:23) We know we have sinned, and do not even deserve to know His Love (Romans 3:23) We know that even though we have been a grotesque image to God He still loves us and sent His Son for us (Romans 5:8, John 3:16)  And ultimately we know that once we realize we cannot make it to heaven on our own, we need to change our life to learn to live in His image. (Romans 12:1-2)

So no matter where you are at…maybe you did not have a relationship with your dad, or maybe it is filled with bad memories…..GOD STILL WANTS YOU

Maybe you do not have a great relationship with your kids and do not understand the fact that God loves it when we run out the garage door and into His lap to love Him, and let Him feel that in return……GOD STILL LOVES YOU!

Or finally maybe you think that your sin is too much for God’s Son to have bore on that Cross, and that He could not have done that for you…GOD STILL DID THAT….for you!

So wherever you maybe….God still is waiting for you, and is loving you, with a love that we will never be able to understand why, but can rest in the fact that He does!!

Please, lets start a discussion on this topic, and if you have questions please ask!!

What if I said, “Stop praying”? What if I told you to stop talking at God for a while, but instead to take a long, hard look at Him before you speak another word? Solomon warned us not to rush into God’s presence with words. That’s what fools do. And often, that’s what we do. (excerpt from the book “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

For so many times in our lives we pray, we pray often and we speak often, and most of the times that we speak we are either thanking Him for what we have, or praying for what we do not. We are hurting, we are sick, someone we know is sick, or we are just flat out  angry at God or at someone in our lives and we need to use someone or something to vent these frustrations at or too!  Please note that all of these are viable reasons to pray, and for the most part in all honesty I am guilty of doing this as well!  The thing is do we really know Who we are praying to, do we stop and think before we pray, or do we just rattle of words and requests to a God that we take for granted!

Let me give you the same example that Francis gave in his book, but in my life!  So many times people come up to me and say.  Tug, is that your wife….I answer yes, and with a pause, I know what they are thinking…so I am quick to point out that she is my better third.  Truth of the matter, do I take the time to notice the beauty that I have married, or do I simply take for Granted what I am blessed with. It is the same way with God, Do we truly know the beauty, do we truly know the power, do we truly know the exact image that we are praying to and in relationship with!

So after I scrape my mind up off of the floor, as many times I have done when listening to Francis Chan’s messages or reading a half of page of his books, I truly begin to think that God is actually the one that I am speaking to….the same God that gave the caterpillar 228 separate muscles in its head, the average elm tree 6 million leaves, the one that gives you a heart with enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet, the one that helps plants defy gravity and suck water up from the ground into their stems. (facts from page 15 of Crazy Love)  So if He is the one I am speaking to, am I coming to Him the way that I should, or am I just babbling of words that truly are not from the bottom of who I am, or is He, who created the universe my crutch!

Truly think about that, are you using the only one that is HOLY, the only one that is ETERNAL, the only one that KNOWS everything as a crutch, do you go to Him and question why He created you the way you are? You wish you looked like so and so, or you wish you had the same “daily walk with Christ” as this person.  Do we ask these questions and use Him as a crutch only because we have yet to figure out who He ultimately is to us!  Do you need a picture of who God is, do you need to really look at who He is before you pray to Him! Do you know His power or are you just guessing that He could heal your body, your relationship, your friend, or your depression.  Do you really know that He knows everything, or do you continue to live in the world of habitual sin thinking you are hiding it from God(Hebrews 4:13 says, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account”) when nothing can be hidden from Him. Do you really praise Him for who He is, or do you even take the time to marvel at what  He has created, including yourself.  For so long in my life, I have underestimated who God is to me, and have looked past His power, His Beauty, His Creativity, and His patience!  You see He never gets sick of us coming to Him, but sometimes I wonder if He is like….you don’t mean it, so please shutup…you don’t love Me, so please don’t use Me, you only want Me to provide for you….How are you loving for Me???  I know it sucks to think about…but has your walk this far been more about you, than God?  Has it been more out of selfish ambition, than knowing that God is the one that is capable of doing God sized things!

I have to admit one thing, the last 6 months of my life, I have been waiting on God to move, when He has been waiting on me to move….into a relationship that is more about Him than me.

Do I need a picture of God on my desk beside my wife’s to remind me every day of His beauty, and How I am blessed to be in a relationship with Him?

I have a challenge for all of you that read this blog…Watch the video that I have here in my blog, and sit back and listen to the words, and realize how much God loves us, but also decide if it is time for you to love Him as much in return!

(the song is amazing, I wanted to put the original video on here but this will have to do)

*mad props to Francis Chan, for his real talk, and convicting yet full of love messages! One of the best!!

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved (Ephesians 2:4-5).

So my life has been pretty crazy the past few months, much to the reason why I have not blogged in a while!I really have had a lot to blog about but have not really felt like people really needed to hear it, or that I do not want to vocalize an opinion but want to really wait on God to tell me what to write about …so here we go, believe me you are in for a treat!

Here is what has happened in the last few months!

-laid off from job due to financial struggles of a church

-started interviewing with a church @ least 5 months ago or so

-really felt that God wanted us to turn WillRock4Food into a non-profit, but did not know why

-really struggled with who I was, and who I thought God wanted me to be

-suffered from a rumor that was spread about me (which completely was not true)

-saw my brother-in laws heart get ripped out, in a relationship that went south (that is all I am sharing on that)

-looking to partner with someone to get a book idea that I have published…looked good, but God has different ideas for both of us

-have helped run 3 concerts in 5 months and running a HUGE ONE NEXT SUNDAY that is only because of God!!

-was shown how to seek after God by an 7….almost 8 year old!!

Needless to say, I have been tossed to and from on an emotional rollercoaster the past few months….from asking God why, to not wanting to do anything, from really desiring something selfishly, to being satisfied with whatever God wants. From being financially stable, to losing my job, but by the grace of God, not missing a paycheck. From running a concert in a park, to running a concert at a stadium that seats 20,000.From being almost hired by a ministry to not knowing if it will happen or not.Whatever these emotions have been, there is only one reason that I have been going through all of this….and once again, it is all because of God’s direction…you can choose to believe that or not…but I will!!

At this time in my life, which has been the hardest, but yet the most refreshing, there has been one underlying factor…..TUG, are you coming at me with your hand or with all of you….

You see the other night, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she said, hey I am on Cole Street…do you care if I stop by! As if I would ever say no, or like she would need to ask, I responded, with of course!She had a reason for coming over, the next day I had a meeting that I have anticipated for a while now, and she wanted to pray with me. After she comes over and we chill for a bit, she asks if she could pray with me for the meeting. Again, I covet my mom’s prayers, so obviously I am not going to say no.She asked Angie (my wife), my daughters (Morgan who is 7, Reese who is 4) and my son (Tanner who is 3) to pray with me and asked them to reach their hands out and touch me….I was like ok this is pretty cool, 5 of my top people in my life right now, surrounding me in prayer, and touching me to really connect with love and affirmation. I realize that there is one hand missing, and it is that of my daughter Morgan. I think, maybe she is not into the laying on of the hands, or maybe she just did not hear Grandma ask, either way I knew she did not have her hand on me. I looked up at her, she looks at me , and she dove, much like you would into water, and dove right on top of my chest and wrapped her hands around my neck (I am crying while typing this, knowing this was from God). She was saying, I do not just want to pray for you by giving you my hand, I want all of me, to cover well…….less than half of you, lol. But she realized that all of her, was what God was wanting her to give. That is , of all the things that has happened over the past few months, the biggest message that I have ever received from God, in the biggest time that I needed it…..and here is how I know that it was what God wanted for me…the next day was filled with affirmations!!!

I immediately felt that, God if that is what you want from me, no problem Man….you can have it! So here I am, a week and a couple days from the concert and I get a phone call from one of my big sponsors saying, pencil me in for this certain amount!!!Amazing!!! Next, I call my attorney to see if he is planning on coming to the concert, and he says YES, and by the way I have your paperwork right here, and you got approved by the state as a 501c3 for WILLROCK4FOOD! One of my wife and I’s friends (Liz Whitney) has had a divine appointment with a guy that is huge into wanting to know more about WillRock4Food, and possibly help us in any way that we can…realize we have no idea who this is, but she does and says we need to be connecting on this!Man, enough is enough, and God just continues to say, you pour out to me, and I am going to unleash everything that I am to you!!!

So, even though I have had a rumor spread about me, that I smoked weed with students, when I have never seen a joint in my life (I know I do act like it, but that may come from being high on the life that God has given me) have been through 4 deaths of students, and had one almost lose their life last week. Whether it has been losing my job only to give me the passion that I need. Whether it is seeing my dream almost become a reality and God have other things in plan with the book. Whether it is seeing your brother in laws heart crushed, to see it built stronger than ever! Whatever has happened in the past few months, has been worth one thing!! Learning how to seek God, by the covering of my 7 year olds prayer!!

“‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered. ‘I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins’” (Mark 11:22-25).

GOD YOU ROCKED MY FACE….now let us ROCK THESE FACES, so we can buy that orphanage in Kenya, and minister to the 20,000 people at Crew Stadium next week….oh and by the way…thanks for the NON-PROFIT status…what in the world are you doing with me, I LOVE IT, and thanks for being my GOD!!!!

If this story has ministered to you and you would like to help us minister to others, send me an email to tug@willrock4food.comwith a story of what God is doing in your life. If you read this and want to help financially with WillRock4Food’s efforts, please contact me at the above, or donate via paypal, by going to www.willrock4food and click on the click 2 donate button at the top of the page!!

So this week I began revamping alot of things to get it ready for the next phase of ministry here at Crossroads. (some of you may not know, but I will be done as youth pastor at Crossroads Church of God on June 17)  I started by cleaning out my desk, which was easy to do physically but emotionally tiring, as you sort through applications from students for leadership, adult leaders, former event plans, lessons, and all that has been your life while in service here at Crossroads.  Then I began refomatting the hard drive on the laptop, so it can be used as the worship station out in the youth room, and can now be at the speed needed to be to show the videos and whatnot!  Then it hit me….you know what I just erased media shout…I just screwed up, although Barb has the churches copy and I can install it again, I was still like dangit!!  But then God moved and I just sat back and listened as He was planning this service out for me for the weekend.  Do not install Media Shout, do not have the words up on the screen, in fact strip the youth room down of seats, and just leave it as an empty room…enough room for the students and ME (God) to be in…. Remove all of the distractions of the normal week and let this week be all about ME!!  As if every week should not be, this week just seems more special….Here is the direction of the night!

I borrowed this book from Jason’s office (jason, I will bring it back Tuesday…lol, he does not even know i have it) and in this book called Inside, Out worship  by Matt Redman it states this on page 99.  As a congregation, we had lost something of our focus in gathered worship, with too much attention on outward things and not enough focus on the heart of our offerings.  SO for a season the pastor was prompted to take away the sound system, band and all other outward props so that we might rediscover the heart of what it really means to worship in spirit and truth together.  The song simply described and gave voice to what God was doing in us….

This is where the song Heart of Worship came from

 When the music fades, all is stripped away, and I simply come, Longing just to bring something that’s of worth, that will bless Your heart…..I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and it’s all about You, all about You, Jesus!!

My question to you…if you simply come, is that enough for you and your relationship…do you have to actually have all of the props and external factors when worshiping Christ, or is He just enough…Maybe you are in a point in your life when all is being stripped away….like possibly being laid off from a job (laughing cause I am in that boat) and maybe you do not see what is ahead…you have an idea, but you cannot see clearly…in which the key is you do not look down long enough to lose focus off of what God is trying to do in your life.

This heart of worship has to be something that is of worth…and the only thing that is of worth for me to give God is my life, in its’ entirety!  Not just a portion, for that is not the effort that Christ gave us while on the cross!!  So in this time of my life, my focus is dang straight on God, and I am not looking down!! Not letting the crap of the day, get in the way of how and Who I am worshiping!  

Maybe you need to strip yourself of pride, the phone, facebook, friends, athletics, family, and whatever may be getting in the way…and give voice to what God is doing in your life!  God is doing something, and maybe you are looking down and not seeing it!!  

Unworthy but His,

Tug

PS.  lights are off in youth room, chairs are out of the room, plain jane to focus on God!!! Let’s Bring it!!

Every morning I get up at 5Am much to my chagrin! I hop out of bed, literally brush the teeth, take vitamins, throw the gym clothes on, grab the bag and clothes for work, ipod, eat a quick breakfast and head out the door by 5:20!  It is nuts to see the desire that I currently have to get strong?  It is not that I am sitting here saying, I cannot wait to be the strongest person in the world, but it is a dedication to be the best that I can physically while completely conditioning spiritually as well.  In the past few weeks I have really began to see the results by doing these early morning workouts! If you would have asked me six months ago if I would be where I am at today, I would have laughed at you, with a piece of pizza in one hand and a Pepsi in the other.  I set out on a mission, to become less of me but yet so much more!  The whole your body is a temple thing!! You know the thing that completely makes you feel like crap  if you are a little overweight to majorly obese. You do not want to heare that message when you walk into chuch, but yet you think the bigger the temple, the more room for God to move.  I had that mentality for so long, that I began to become lazy in many portions of my life, and finally began to realize that less is really more, and that the Power of God will show up in my weak spot….it is just the transferring it over to Him that is the hard thing! One day, I really felt the urge to completely change my lifestyle, to devote my physicality to God as well, and that is when the spiritual side completely took off! It was like Exercise was my weak spot and God was wanting to show me His power by getting me on a complete different level.

But just like it was for me physically it is the same spiritually…what is your weakest spot, because that is where God wants to show up!!  Is it the way you trust Him with your finances, is it the way you see your ministry, family, self, or possibly even others!!  Whatever the weakest spot is, God wants to reveal His power to you!!

In 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 it states Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”  So now I am glad to boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ can work through me.  That is why I take pleasure in my weakness, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

It is like what God is asking us to be proud of, are the times when people ridicule us….the things we want to hide from others, the addictions and whatnot that we have overcame by the Power of God! So much has been hammered down on peoples weakness, that they can never see that that is the very thing that God wants to use for people to see His power.  If others never see your weakness, how are they gonna see His strength. It is like the hardest thing that we have to go through, is where God wants us to say….hey idiot, that is where I want to show up….so if your life is crap right now…watch out because manure helps things grow!!  The thing is realizing that you have got to suck it up…you have got to hold to Christ… so you can see His power…give up to soon…you will not see it!!  

Another thing that is key is to make sure you know your role!!

It is like this passages of scripture in Matthew 20:20-28 and then in Mark 10:32-45

Where the mom and the sons both asked Jesus this question!

“In your Kingdom, please let my sons sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right, and one on your left”  (Matthew 20)

“When You sit on your glorious throne, we want to sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right, and one on your left!”  (Mark 10)

Jesus’ response in both scriptures: “You don’t know what you are asking! Are you able to drink from the bitter cup of suffering that I am about to drink, are you able to be baptized with the baptism of suffering I must be baptized with!”  they answer yes….He says ” You will indeed drink from my bitter cup and be baptized with my baptism of suffering.  But I have no right to say who will sit on my right or my left. God has prepared those places for the ones he has chosen.”

Needless to say…the big thing is not where you will end up…the key is that you will drink of the suffering…for that is where Christ will take your life by storm!!

These two guys wanted to have stature, and Jesus just wants them to see His power!!!

So for today…my challenge to you is that you let Christ show you your weakest spot, so that His strength can be seen so much more!!!

SEE YOU TOMORROW!!

T

So many thoughts have been passing through my head lately….so many thoughts of wonder, of excitement, of curiousity, of love, how to love everyone well.  How to walk through the mud and the mire while holding onto a God that never changes, how to look up while it seems that so much stuff is going down!  How to run and not get weary and how to wake up every morning at 5 am and push myself physically as I am spiritually!  Alot has happened of recent, and if you have not heard, I will let you know what is going on in my life at this current time…..crazy stuff, and am so jacked to be a part of all of this, yet it is one of the hardest times of my life!  About a month and a half ago I really felt like God was going to be moving in my life in a way that I have never experienced, and in all honesty at that time it even felt uncomfortable!  We had started this new thing with our student ministry called “joes on the road” in which the teens have no idea where we are going until they get here, and that night we were visiting Cornerstone Harvest Church in Lima.  I wanted the teens to experience a complete different style of worship that they have never seen.  Worship was amazing, the message was as well….and then this happened.  A friend of mine that I have alot of respect for, who is an assistant pastor at that church, asked me to sit with him.  I did, and he says, “every time that I looked at you during the service, I felt God telling me this, that in the next few weeks, you are going to have some rough meetings ahead, but do not be afraid for your heart is right, and the decisions that you make will take you to a different level!! I walk out and share this with only one other person, an adult leader, and I was blown away, but had already been feeling God stirring something in my heart, so this somewhat gave me a peace!  Well, needless to say, giving has been down of recent at our church, and the economy has taken its toll and 3 weeks to the day after that service, I am pulled in the pastors office before staff meeting, and he tells me that due to finances, I and the children’s pastor will be getting laid off on June 17….I actually smiled, not out of disrespect, but because the stirring of what God had already been doing is now coming into fruition.   This is nuts, I mean here I am being told that only due to finances I will be out of a job, and I have a complete peace with it!! This is not me, if you know me, I am so worried about being the provider for my family, someone who has got to completely know that all is well, but not this time…at the biggest point in my life where I should have doubt, I have none!  I personally know that this is God, because none of it makes sense!  Alot of times that is the way that God works, when things do not appear to make sense in mans eyes, God ultimately uses them for His glory!!  Needless to say I feel like God is overcoming one of the darkest times (losing a job) with His Brightness.  You see I have been on a rampage for a while now in my studies, and have really been diving into scripture, and I truthfully know that no matter what, if I continue to draw close to Him, He will draw near to me, and He already is! It is like no matter what I do, I know that He is my rock, and He is the only thing that can hold me up….it pains me to lose the direct weekly relationship with my teens and adult leaders, but I am so JACKED about the future that it is not even funny….Here are some lyrics from a song that has really hit home with me…

Well I’ve been hit from every corner

And I’ve been thrown from side to side

And I’m cracked up in the inside

So I come to You for life

Your presence always heals me

So I wanna’ drink it in

You know where we’re going God

And You know where I’ve been

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning around.

Yesterday I felt so angry

And today so insecure

And I hate it that I wrestle with the God that I adore

Your presence always heals me

So I wanna drink it in

You know where we’re going God

And You know where I’ve been.

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And I know less about You

But my heart loves You so much more

You’re the bright in sadness

You’re my brightness

I wish this thing could pass from me

But I’m wanting what You want

So bring me high and bring me low

Just hold me in Your love

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning around.

So when my life is spinning out of control there is only one Rock , and that is who I am leaning on!!! He came into the mud and put my life on solid ground, He sent His son to be the mediator and through Him, we can see the Kingdom!  He loves us so much that He wants to share all of it with us!! What do we have to do in return, Fight, Love, Respect, Serve, Listen, be His subjects, and rule His Kingdom right along with Him and how can I do that, if I do not trust the KING!!!

So needless to say, in  my darkest place, I see His brightness clearer than ever before!!

Books that are helping in this time:

The Barbarian Way: by McManus

Jesus for President: by Claiborne

The Bible: studying Psalms in which it consistently talks about Crying out to God

Music that is helping:

Charlie Hall: The Bright Sadness

Jars of Clay: The Long Fall Back to Earth

1. What is something daddy always says to you? Go in your room…LOL

2. What makes daddy happy? sitting by me.

3. What makes daddy sad? i don’t know. .

4. How does your daddy make you laugh? sometimes when he laughs.

5. What was your daddy like as a child? FART…..LOL

6. How old is your daddy? 18.

7. How tall is your daddy? takes her hands and makes about a foot!!! LOL Like the five dollar foot long

 8. What is his favorite thing to do? See Bob and Larry.

9. What does your Daddy do when you’re not around? Goes on a date with Tanner…my 2 yr old son.

10. If your daddy becomes famous, what will it be for? Being FUNNY.

11. What is your Daddy really good at? Doing games to get stuffed animals.

12. What is your Daddy not very good at? putting dogs back in their cage.

13. What does daddy do for a job? feeds people, something on his computer!

14.What is your daddy’s favorite food? Pizza

15.What makes you proud of your dadddy? Doing letters and writing Tanners name

16. If your daddy were a cartoon character, who would he be? DORA…LOL

17. What do you and your daddy do together? Play and Dancing.

18. How are you and your daddy the same? a long time ago you had blond hair!! we watch cartoons

19. How are you and your daddy different? you have pieces of red hair now!!…

20. How do you know your daddy loves you? When you kiss me…and morgan and tanner

21. What does your daddy like most about your mommy? giving her rings…and letting her smile at you

22. What is your daddy’s favorite place to go? to the buckeyes games!!

23. What do you wish you could do with your daddy? play with him, with dora stuff, and princess stuff

24. Where do you like to go with Daddy? grandma and grandpa’s house 25. When you grow up what do you want to be? Dora?

26. Who is your favorite person in the bible? Dora…Lol

27. What is your favorite thing to eat? Pizza?

28. Who is your best friend?? Daddy, and Mommy…and Grandma…papaw Tanner chimes in: and Josh, and Andy, and Clint, and Jacob, and Papaw

29. Where do you want to go on vacation? to the Fair

30. Who is your favorite person? Andy (the old drummer for This Beautiful Republic) Tanner chimes in …Andy the drummer

So I know it has been a while since I have blogged and have even been told…man you got a sweet new blog up..and you are gonna let it fall on its face….and I do not want to talk to someone that has not blogged for two weeks…but I am back…and dang has it been a crazy two weeks! Just a quick snapshot of what God has been doing!!

Last Monday the possible next step for Will Rock 4 Food and our concert ministry was beginning to take shape…A friend of mine Jim Schmidtke (who just happens to be the guy who led Coach Tressel to the Lord)  who I have met through the involvement with THE MAIN EVENT (Columbus and Lima) called me a few weeks back and wanted my take on some concert ideas, and to help him in what a great concert, or what the next steps would be….basically wanted help with the vision behind something!! That something happens to be a concert that would be following a Columbus Crew game in September @ The Crew Stadium!! Now I do not know the involvement or anything we will have as of yet…but we had a 2 hour meeting with the President of Events for the Columbus Crew and it looks pretty good.  I never thought that when we started Will Rock 4 Food in a park in Lima, that God would do so much with it…He has already completed my dream, and now I am just completely blindsided by what is going on!!  So the day of the meeting, we  (my brother Gabe Taviano, Friends and Colleagues Charles Hill, and Dwayne Sayre) got an in depth tour of the Woody Hayes Center (the Ohio State University Athletic Training Center) a tour of the Crew Stadium and got to hold the MLS Cup, and then we jumped the little fence and ran on the field @ Ohio Stadium!!  You can see the pics on my facebook page. What an amazing day….and who knows what the outcome will be, but God!!

Then on Wednesday, we filmed the first 8 episodes of this tv show on WTLW TV 44 that I am co hosting with, Billi Dray.  The show is called the Surge, and is a Christian Music Video show geared towards taking the topics of the videos and doing little 2 minute teaching segments in between… The tapings went longer than was expected, but definitely glad to see what God is going to do with them!!  It is at its first step, and will begin to air in late March….I am new to the TV thing, and was really nervous for the first couple of shows!!  Glad to be able to host this show with a friend, and former news anchor!!  

Then on Sunday we switched all of our youth things around…times all changed and are focusing more on jr. high being separate from high school….which definitely already saw positive effects the first week.  It is amazing how middle schoolers will open up when there are no high schoolers in the room!! It was a great first week of Evolve our MSM, and Crave, which is our HSM.  We also started a joes on the road thing, where we are starting off every Wednesday night with the teens not knowing where they are going and taking them to places in which they will learn many lessons!! Tonights topic was Encouragement…so we stopped at an Older gentleman’s house from our church, and gave him a dozen golf balls and a card, and then went to a students tournament game together, and ended up at my daughters’ pine wood derby….three different ages of encouragement, and three different ways!!  

I have been swamped this week with prep for youth, prep and promo for the upcoming Skillet concert on April 4th at the Elida fieldhouse (www.willrock4food.com)  and being the best dad and husband that I can be at the same time…Lets just say, at night I am drained!!  So if you can pray for the next few weeks and this month that God will provide the energy that I will need to  do what He is directing me to do!!!

Tonight we had the Awana Grand Prix, which is a pinewood derby, and my daughters took home 1st Prize in Design (Reese with Larry the Cucumber…pics on my facebook) and 2nd place overall speed (Morgan) .  I knew or at least was confident that Reese would get a prize for design…but Morgan’s trophy was a shock to me, because every other year my cars have sucked as far as speed goes…I am not the engineer like my cousins Jessey and Joey!! This time what we did worked….plus the red track was fast all night..LOL

Finally I want to give a little shout out to a blog that you all should be following…. it is a blog from a college friend of mine named Mark Artrip!! Mark is a youth pastor at Grace Church u in Powell, Oh.  Mark actually performed at one of the first ever concerts we had (I believe you were there Mark with Godsound)  with Grits! He is a very talented and funny man, and according to his top 25 music albums….we both agree that Justin Timberlake is talented…lol!! I actually like JT’s style of music!!  You can follow Mark at www.markartrip.com   Mark was also the one that said my blog site was sweet, but I am letting it fall…lol….so I said I would blog about him!!  Mark, thanks for helping promote the concert on April 4, and for being a friend, colleague and fellow passionate member of the world of hip hop.  

Until next time!

Tug

I have always been someone to pose the question, where are we going….whether it be to my parents when I was younger…to my wife, when we discuss the option of restaurants when we go out to eat (always ending up in the words “La Charreada”) . I even pose this question to God very often, when I have no idea where my life is going to end up…or if I am indeed on the right track to get there??  This has not been a big issue, until recently…do I really need to know where I am going?

I have the ability with my iphone to make sure I know exactly where I am, and can even be followed by a little blue dot on my screen, depicting every turn I make, and telling me if I get off track!  I can zoom in as close as the street, or zoom out as far as the map will go…and it will still show me exactly where I am at, and where I need to be going.  I love this feature, and it has helped me get from point A to point B in the quickest fashion, but has it taken away some of the fun of trying to find your way to your final destination.

      from the book Still Waters and Skycrapers  

                Albert Einstein once boarded a train in Princeton, New Jersey, bound for Boston.  Upon finding a seat, he immediately started fumbling for his ticket, which he couldn’t find anywhere.  Noticing Einstein’s frantic search, the conductor reassured him: “Everyone on this train knows who you are Professor Einstein.  I don’t need to see your ticket.”  While looking relieved, Einstein carried on hunting for the missing ticket.  When the conductor came back along the train he saw the renowned scientist on his hands and knees looking under the seat.  He tapped Einstein on the shoulder and said, “Please. Professor, don’t worry about the ticket. I am quite sure you have one somewhere.”  To which Einstein replied, “No, no.  You don’t understand.  I need the ticket because I don’t know where I am going.”

               I am sure that Einstein was on a busy lecture tour covering many locations, but there is still something perversely comforting about the idea that one of the greatest minds n history could be so befuddled as to forget where he was going on a train journey.  There may be some hope for the rest of us, after all!

        We all have the stories of being lost!  We all have the regrets of making the wrong decisions, that have even possibly effected some portion of our lives, and we all have searched for the answers to actually try and figure out where exactly our life is heading, but isn’t the train ride enough!  Isn’t the fact that God is saying, Tug, I know you have your ticket, now stay in my seat, and let me take you to where you are supposed to be going!  I mean I can name the countless mistakes that I have made, for instance the time when we left Grace College in Indiana, to come back and do ministry full time, when we should have just stuck it out and finished my degree! I could either get hung up on the decisions of the past, or I could realize that these were part of the process of God shaping me in my journey with Him.  Although these are decisions that I really need to evaluate and possibly get going on reaching these lifelong goals, I would not trade in my ride for anything.  

      You see if God would give us a GPS of our life, and all we would have to do is really go from one thing to another, that would take the joy and pain of following Him out of the picture.  God gives us the opportunity to hear Him as clearly as we want to, and sometimes we hear ourselves over Him.  We jump at this and jump at that, and think that it is God!  We do not have the position that we think God wants us to have, and question the conductor of our life.  He is still in the driving seat, and He sees the road clearly ahead….so sit back put on your seatbelt, and enjoy the ride.  

       Now this is not a ride, that you have no part of, or that you just sit there comfortably….when He tells you to turn, turn.  When HE tells you to slam on the brakes, or push the pedal to the medal, do just that!!  But most importantly, keep your little BLUE DOT on his map, and watch where he takes you!!

IF you are curious to the complete information on the book that was stated above… here is the info

Still Waters and Skyscrapers : The 23rd Psalm for the 21st Generation, by Dave Tomlinson

As Valentine’s Day is approaching…I thought you may want to see this video! Watch with caution! You may actually feel the need to tell someone you love them when you are done!!

So many times we think that people do not need to hear the words I love you…or we use them flippantly and forget what meaning they actually have!  These are words that I cherish and that I hold at high regard….and honestly when I say them I truly mean them.  Maybe you are wearing a ring on your finger and you are like the guy in this video that rants and raves about people in public, but in behind closed doors, your relationship is that of confusion, or not knowing if you actually love that person.  Maybe you are truly thankful for the people that God has placed in your life..but have not went out of your way to show that you love them!! I know Valentine’s Day…is kind of a Hallmark holiday, and we feel like it is our obligation to by people cards, or give them candy….but I challenge you to not do anything if you feel obligated…but only do it because you truly LOVE THEM…..

I can honestly say that I tell my wife that I love her everyday!!  Recently have I truly began to see how important she is to me.. WHY I could never do life without her!!  Here is a short list of things that I love about her…that I can share in public at least…

1.    She is drop dead gorgeous
2.    great mom
3.    better cook than what she thinks
4.    patient with me
5.    does great with the house
6.    persistent
7.    beautiful without makeup
8.    dresses fit to kill
9.    loves to spend time with me
10.    sings amazing
11.    follows God’s lead
12.    loves soo well….especially those who are close to her
13.    appreciates when you take time to notice her
14.    loves to shop
15.    beautiful eyes
16.    good listener
17.    means well with everything she does
18.    wants to know details about everything
19.    her strengths compliment my weaknesses
20.    great driver
21.    LOVES THE KIDS…..NO MATTER WHAT
22.    GREAT HOUSEWIFE
23.    will bend over backwards for you
24.    needs to know you love her
25.    loves to look pretty for me, even though she does not have to do anything to do that
26.    Prays with the Kids
27.    strongminded(sometimes too strong but most of the time it is a good strong)
28.    loves the same kind of movies that I like…for the most part
29.    Forgiving…many times
30.    Loves to be cared for
31.    Loves my attention
32.    LAST BUT NOT LEAST>>>> SHE DOES NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HAVING HER AS MY WIFE

I cannot tell her enough how much she means to me…and truly how blessed I am to have her as my wife!!  So Angie…when you read this…remember the words of the GREAT LIONEL RICHIE!!! ….because I’m Truly…..Truly in Love with you Girl!!

I love you

Tug