What if I said, “Stop praying”? What if I told you to stop talking at God for a while, but instead to take a long, hard look at Him before you speak another word? Solomon warned us not to rush into God’s presence with words. That’s what fools do. And often, that’s what we do. (excerpt from the book “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

For so many times in our lives we pray, we pray often and we speak often, and most of the times that we speak we are either thanking Him for what we have, or praying for what we do not. We are hurting, we are sick, someone we know is sick, or we are just flat out  angry at God or at someone in our lives and we need to use someone or something to vent these frustrations at or too!  Please note that all of these are viable reasons to pray, and for the most part in all honesty I am guilty of doing this as well!  The thing is do we really know Who we are praying to, do we stop and think before we pray, or do we just rattle of words and requests to a God that we take for granted!

Let me give you the same example that Francis gave in his book, but in my life!  So many times people come up to me and say.  Tug, is that your wife….I answer yes, and with a pause, I know what they are thinking…so I am quick to point out that she is my better third.  Truth of the matter, do I take the time to notice the beauty that I have married, or do I simply take for Granted what I am blessed with. It is the same way with God, Do we truly know the beauty, do we truly know the power, do we truly know the exact image that we are praying to and in relationship with!

So after I scrape my mind up off of the floor, as many times I have done when listening to Francis Chan’s messages or reading a half of page of his books, I truly begin to think that God is actually the one that I am speaking to….the same God that gave the caterpillar 228 separate muscles in its head, the average elm tree 6 million leaves, the one that gives you a heart with enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet, the one that helps plants defy gravity and suck water up from the ground into their stems. (facts from page 15 of Crazy Love)  So if He is the one I am speaking to, am I coming to Him the way that I should, or am I just babbling of words that truly are not from the bottom of who I am, or is He, who created the universe my crutch!

Truly think about that, are you using the only one that is HOLY, the only one that is ETERNAL, the only one that KNOWS everything as a crutch, do you go to Him and question why He created you the way you are? You wish you looked like so and so, or you wish you had the same “daily walk with Christ” as this person.  Do we ask these questions and use Him as a crutch only because we have yet to figure out who He ultimately is to us!  Do you need a picture of who God is, do you need to really look at who He is before you pray to Him! Do you know His power or are you just guessing that He could heal your body, your relationship, your friend, or your depression.  Do you really know that He knows everything, or do you continue to live in the world of habitual sin thinking you are hiding it from God(Hebrews 4:13 says, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account”) when nothing can be hidden from Him. Do you really praise Him for who He is, or do you even take the time to marvel at what  He has created, including yourself.  For so long in my life, I have underestimated who God is to me, and have looked past His power, His Beauty, His Creativity, and His patience!  You see He never gets sick of us coming to Him, but sometimes I wonder if He is like….you don’t mean it, so please shutup…you don’t love Me, so please don’t use Me, you only want Me to provide for you….How are you loving for Me???  I know it sucks to think about…but has your walk this far been more about you, than God?  Has it been more out of selfish ambition, than knowing that God is the one that is capable of doing God sized things!

I have to admit one thing, the last 6 months of my life, I have been waiting on God to move, when He has been waiting on me to move….into a relationship that is more about Him than me.

Do I need a picture of God on my desk beside my wife’s to remind me every day of His beauty, and How I am blessed to be in a relationship with Him?

I have a challenge for all of you that read this blog…Watch the video that I have here in my blog, and sit back and listen to the words, and realize how much God loves us, but also decide if it is time for you to love Him as much in return!

(the song is amazing, I wanted to put the original video on here but this will have to do)

*mad props to Francis Chan, for his real talk, and convicting yet full of love messages! One of the best!!

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved (Ephesians 2:4-5).

So my life has been pretty crazy the past few months, much to the reason why I have not blogged in a while!I really have had a lot to blog about but have not really felt like people really needed to hear it, or that I do not want to vocalize an opinion but want to really wait on God to tell me what to write about …so here we go, believe me you are in for a treat!

Here is what has happened in the last few months!

-laid off from job due to financial struggles of a church

-started interviewing with a church @ least 5 months ago or so

-really felt that God wanted us to turn WillRock4Food into a non-profit, but did not know why

-really struggled with who I was, and who I thought God wanted me to be

-suffered from a rumor that was spread about me (which completely was not true)

-saw my brother-in laws heart get ripped out, in a relationship that went south (that is all I am sharing on that)

-looking to partner with someone to get a book idea that I have published…looked good, but God has different ideas for both of us

-have helped run 3 concerts in 5 months and running a HUGE ONE NEXT SUNDAY that is only because of God!!

-was shown how to seek after God by an 7….almost 8 year old!!

Needless to say, I have been tossed to and from on an emotional rollercoaster the past few months….from asking God why, to not wanting to do anything, from really desiring something selfishly, to being satisfied with whatever God wants. From being financially stable, to losing my job, but by the grace of God, not missing a paycheck. From running a concert in a park, to running a concert at a stadium that seats 20,000.From being almost hired by a ministry to not knowing if it will happen or not.Whatever these emotions have been, there is only one reason that I have been going through all of this….and once again, it is all because of God’s direction…you can choose to believe that or not…but I will!!

At this time in my life, which has been the hardest, but yet the most refreshing, there has been one underlying factor…..TUG, are you coming at me with your hand or with all of you….

You see the other night, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she said, hey I am on Cole Street…do you care if I stop by! As if I would ever say no, or like she would need to ask, I responded, with of course!She had a reason for coming over, the next day I had a meeting that I have anticipated for a while now, and she wanted to pray with me. After she comes over and we chill for a bit, she asks if she could pray with me for the meeting. Again, I covet my mom’s prayers, so obviously I am not going to say no.She asked Angie (my wife), my daughters (Morgan who is 7, Reese who is 4) and my son (Tanner who is 3) to pray with me and asked them to reach their hands out and touch me….I was like ok this is pretty cool, 5 of my top people in my life right now, surrounding me in prayer, and touching me to really connect with love and affirmation. I realize that there is one hand missing, and it is that of my daughter Morgan. I think, maybe she is not into the laying on of the hands, or maybe she just did not hear Grandma ask, either way I knew she did not have her hand on me. I looked up at her, she looks at me , and she dove, much like you would into water, and dove right on top of my chest and wrapped her hands around my neck (I am crying while typing this, knowing this was from God). She was saying, I do not just want to pray for you by giving you my hand, I want all of me, to cover well…….less than half of you, lol. But she realized that all of her, was what God was wanting her to give. That is , of all the things that has happened over the past few months, the biggest message that I have ever received from God, in the biggest time that I needed it…..and here is how I know that it was what God wanted for me…the next day was filled with affirmations!!!

I immediately felt that, God if that is what you want from me, no problem Man….you can have it! So here I am, a week and a couple days from the concert and I get a phone call from one of my big sponsors saying, pencil me in for this certain amount!!!Amazing!!! Next, I call my attorney to see if he is planning on coming to the concert, and he says YES, and by the way I have your paperwork right here, and you got approved by the state as a 501c3 for WILLROCK4FOOD! One of my wife and I’s friends (Liz Whitney) has had a divine appointment with a guy that is huge into wanting to know more about WillRock4Food, and possibly help us in any way that we can…realize we have no idea who this is, but she does and says we need to be connecting on this!Man, enough is enough, and God just continues to say, you pour out to me, and I am going to unleash everything that I am to you!!!

So, even though I have had a rumor spread about me, that I smoked weed with students, when I have never seen a joint in my life (I know I do act like it, but that may come from being high on the life that God has given me) have been through 4 deaths of students, and had one almost lose their life last week. Whether it has been losing my job only to give me the passion that I need. Whether it is seeing my dream almost become a reality and God have other things in plan with the book. Whether it is seeing your brother in laws heart crushed, to see it built stronger than ever! Whatever has happened in the past few months, has been worth one thing!! Learning how to seek God, by the covering of my 7 year olds prayer!!

“‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered. ‘I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins’” (Mark 11:22-25).

GOD YOU ROCKED MY FACE….now let us ROCK THESE FACES, so we can buy that orphanage in Kenya, and minister to the 20,000 people at Crew Stadium next week….oh and by the way…thanks for the NON-PROFIT status…what in the world are you doing with me, I LOVE IT, and thanks for being my GOD!!!!

If this story has ministered to you and you would like to help us minister to others, send me an email to tug@willrock4food.comwith a story of what God is doing in your life. If you read this and want to help financially with WillRock4Food’s efforts, please contact me at the above, or donate via paypal, by going to www.willrock4food and click on the click 2 donate button at the top of the page!!

So this week I began revamping alot of things to get it ready for the next phase of ministry here at Crossroads. (some of you may not know, but I will be done as youth pastor at Crossroads Church of God on June 17)  I started by cleaning out my desk, which was easy to do physically but emotionally tiring, as you sort through applications from students for leadership, adult leaders, former event plans, lessons, and all that has been your life while in service here at Crossroads.  Then I began refomatting the hard drive on the laptop, so it can be used as the worship station out in the youth room, and can now be at the speed needed to be to show the videos and whatnot!  Then it hit me….you know what I just erased media shout…I just screwed up, although Barb has the churches copy and I can install it again, I was still like dangit!!  But then God moved and I just sat back and listened as He was planning this service out for me for the weekend.  Do not install Media Shout, do not have the words up on the screen, in fact strip the youth room down of seats, and just leave it as an empty room…enough room for the students and ME (God) to be in…. Remove all of the distractions of the normal week and let this week be all about ME!!  As if every week should not be, this week just seems more special….Here is the direction of the night!

I borrowed this book from Jason’s office (jason, I will bring it back Tuesday…lol, he does not even know i have it) and in this book called Inside, Out worship  by Matt Redman it states this on page 99.  As a congregation, we had lost something of our focus in gathered worship, with too much attention on outward things and not enough focus on the heart of our offerings.  SO for a season the pastor was prompted to take away the sound system, band and all other outward props so that we might rediscover the heart of what it really means to worship in spirit and truth together.  The song simply described and gave voice to what God was doing in us….

This is where the song Heart of Worship came from

 When the music fades, all is stripped away, and I simply come, Longing just to bring something that’s of worth, that will bless Your heart…..I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and it’s all about You, all about You, Jesus!!

My question to you…if you simply come, is that enough for you and your relationship…do you have to actually have all of the props and external factors when worshiping Christ, or is He just enough…Maybe you are in a point in your life when all is being stripped away….like possibly being laid off from a job (laughing cause I am in that boat) and maybe you do not see what is ahead…you have an idea, but you cannot see clearly…in which the key is you do not look down long enough to lose focus off of what God is trying to do in your life.

This heart of worship has to be something that is of worth…and the only thing that is of worth for me to give God is my life, in its’ entirety!  Not just a portion, for that is not the effort that Christ gave us while on the cross!!  So in this time of my life, my focus is dang straight on God, and I am not looking down!! Not letting the crap of the day, get in the way of how and Who I am worshiping!  

Maybe you need to strip yourself of pride, the phone, facebook, friends, athletics, family, and whatever may be getting in the way…and give voice to what God is doing in your life!  God is doing something, and maybe you are looking down and not seeing it!!  

Unworthy but His,

Tug

PS.  lights are off in youth room, chairs are out of the room, plain jane to focus on God!!! Let’s Bring it!!

Please read the below story….thoughts below

MUMBAI (Reuters) – City authorities in Mumbai demolished the shanty home of a “Slumdog Millionaire” child star on Thursday, forcing his family into the streets months after the Oscar-winning film shot him to global fame.

Azharuddin Ismail, 9, played the character of Salim as a child in the film, a rags-to-riches romance about a poor Indian boy competing for love and money on a television game show.

Ismail’s tarpaulin-covered home in a teeming slum was one of several shanties, illegally built along a drain, that were demolished by local authorities in Mumbai, India’s financial capital and entertainment hub.

“When they came I was sleeping, they shook me awake and one policeman even threatened me,” Ismail, surrounded by half-broken suitcases filled with clothes and utensils, told Reuters.

“What can I do if they have demolished my house? I will sleep out in the open.”

A poster of “Slumdog Millionaire,” signed by director Danny Boyle, fluttered from the only wall of Ismail’s shanty still standing. Open sewers run nearby and it had no running water.

Authorities said the shanties had been demolished earlier but had sprung up again on the same spot.

“The shanties are all touching a drain that has to be cleaned before the advent of the monsoons,” said U.D. Mistry, the local official in charge of the demolition drive.

Earlier this year, there was an outcry after pictures emerged of “Slumdog Millionaire’s” child stars living in squalor despite the movie’s box-office success and eight Academy Awards.

The film also sparked controversy for its name, deemed by some to be offensive to slum dwellers, and its treatment of the cast. Its depiction of the lives of poor Indians was dubbed “poverty porn” by sections of the media.

In February, the housing authority of Maharashtra state, of which Mumbai is the capital, said they would give Ismail and fellow child star Rubina Ali new houses. But Ismail’s mother, Shameem, said the family is now at the mercy of the rains.

“We also heard that the government had promised us houses, but what happened? We are still homeless,” she said. “My son has brought glory to the country, shouldn’t he get some credit?”

(Writing by Tony Tharakan; Editing by Matthias Williams and Paul Tait)

Usually I will not blog about things of hollywood as far as movies, because it never really effects me as far as emotionally or any thoughts that pop in my head that I have to share, but this is a different story.  If you have not seen Slumdog Millionaire, you need to go right now to your local Redbox, or Video Rental place, or for that matter, you will like the movie so much that you should possibly just buy it!  The story is a rags to riches story that is filmed in a dramatic way, but even watching the movie, you really do not see the complete effect until a story like this surfaces…On Oscar winning movie, and yet these kids are still living in the slums…it shows me a few things.  It really is crap that this kid who was such a vital part of the movie, is not able to live in a normal home, while us in America sit in what we think are not lavish homes, but look at the shed in which they live in that we can purchase at our local hardware store for less than $50.00.  I mean seriously there are so many situations like this that are surfacing, that we as believers need to take into consideration in which avenue we are truly showing others the Kingdom!  

I am writing this as well to challenge as many people to this following email. My mom recently visited Africa and has since learned that she and all of us can purchase a lot of land that can turn into an orphanage…..I cannot describe it any better, so I will just let you read the email straight from Africa!!

Dear Janelle, How are you and the ministry ,How is Rock,Gabe and Tug,the two daughter in-laws and the six grandchildren? hope they are fine in the name of Jesus christ.I am so happy to receive a letter from you once a gain,we are excited .Everybody is fine and the ministry is doing okay.The children and the staff are doing fine .Dad is recovering and getting strong and we thank God for that.  Janelle I know it is the will of God to have those pieces of Land,because if the devil have them it will mean a different thing to the children ministry and the impact it will have to the children within the community.Isaiah 54 as from verse 1 on wards says we should expand to right and to the left and we should not spare.You see people have been coming to buy it and letter disagree,they want to develop it and just everything comes to a stand still.God is still holding that land for us.I totally believe it is the will of God to have those land to his glory.There are territorial demons that control the people in this area and they want to have their agents to posses everything so that they can control the area efectively,but we the children of God are here and we will take charge.    I also believe your ministry is in Africa,Kenya(Matisi and expanding) and your coming will mean a plus to the kingdom of God and destruction to the kingdom of darkness.I know that God is able to abound all grace towards you so that you will be safficient in all things also to preach the word.God wants the people Get saved more than we want,so he will provide,amen.Concerning the people to work with let me also pray about it.     Tell Tug,the ministry that God gave Him is still intact and that is the blessing, wherever he goes he will prosper ,for the path of the just is like a shinning light that shines ever brighter unto a perfect day.Read Deut 28.      Did you get the details that Pst Patricia was asking?Greet her in the name of Jesus . Dorcas is fine and Gloria with everybody around me,Dorcas misses you and longs to see you,Hug that great man of God, Rock we miss him too. Bye for now,you are blessed. Benson  So how can you help…..this land can be purchased right now for a total of 5,000 dollars, and if you would like to help, please either contact me on Facebook, Twitter, email me (tug@willrock4food.com) or my mother at janelle@unreined.com   If we can get 100 $50.00 donations, we are done and imagine how many lives will be touched!!! Here is an actual picture of Benson in the orphanage that was without Mattresses until mom actually was able to assist in the purchasing of the mattresses for this room!!  Let us get them another orphanage!! Let our love be motivated by that of Christ!!!  Let us turn their lives around by our love for God!! Will continue to update people on the process of this!! Unworthy but His and always wanting to Bust Satan in the Mouth!!  Tug Taviano Twitter:  tugtaviano Facebook: Tug Taviano Email: tug@willrock4food.com

Tonight marks the 4th game of my daughter Morgan’s new found love….SOFTBALL!  She is amazing to watch!! I am the coach of the team, so it makes it really easy to watch every play, but I am beginning to be so grateful to even have the ability to see what she is learning on her own!  She so far is 8 for 9 batting, which in the realm of 1st grade softball you have to put the fielders into play with the average, but she has not used a TEE yet!!!!  Secondly I am so jacked to see how tough she is….she loves being the catcher (crazy), and has even got bruises from being hit by the ball, but does not phase her the slightest!!  Last night was a huge thing to watch, Morgan was playing pitcher at the time (we have a facemask on the pitchers)  and our third baseman came about 4 feet from Morgan and chucked the ball at her as hard as she could…hit her right in the facemask!! She looked at me, I went to see if she was ok, she wanted to cry, but said she was fine…I said, you get back out there and play then if you want! She went right back to the mound!!!  Needless to say, what could be so hectic as it is schedule wise, has turned into a great bonding experience with my daughter!! To all you dad’s ,  coach your kids when you get a chance!!! AMAZING REWARDS of TIME BEING SPENT with your own kid!!!

Every morning I get up at 5Am much to my chagrin! I hop out of bed, literally brush the teeth, take vitamins, throw the gym clothes on, grab the bag and clothes for work, ipod, eat a quick breakfast and head out the door by 5:20!  It is nuts to see the desire that I currently have to get strong?  It is not that I am sitting here saying, I cannot wait to be the strongest person in the world, but it is a dedication to be the best that I can physically while completely conditioning spiritually as well.  In the past few weeks I have really began to see the results by doing these early morning workouts! If you would have asked me six months ago if I would be where I am at today, I would have laughed at you, with a piece of pizza in one hand and a Pepsi in the other.  I set out on a mission, to become less of me but yet so much more!  The whole your body is a temple thing!! You know the thing that completely makes you feel like crap  if you are a little overweight to majorly obese. You do not want to heare that message when you walk into chuch, but yet you think the bigger the temple, the more room for God to move.  I had that mentality for so long, that I began to become lazy in many portions of my life, and finally began to realize that less is really more, and that the Power of God will show up in my weak spot….it is just the transferring it over to Him that is the hard thing! One day, I really felt the urge to completely change my lifestyle, to devote my physicality to God as well, and that is when the spiritual side completely took off! It was like Exercise was my weak spot and God was wanting to show me His power by getting me on a complete different level.

But just like it was for me physically it is the same spiritually…what is your weakest spot, because that is where God wants to show up!!  Is it the way you trust Him with your finances, is it the way you see your ministry, family, self, or possibly even others!!  Whatever the weakest spot is, God wants to reveal His power to you!!

In 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 it states Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”  So now I am glad to boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ can work through me.  That is why I take pleasure in my weakness, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

It is like what God is asking us to be proud of, are the times when people ridicule us….the things we want to hide from others, the addictions and whatnot that we have overcame by the Power of God! So much has been hammered down on peoples weakness, that they can never see that that is the very thing that God wants to use for people to see His power.  If others never see your weakness, how are they gonna see His strength. It is like the hardest thing that we have to go through, is where God wants us to say….hey idiot, that is where I want to show up….so if your life is crap right now…watch out because manure helps things grow!!  The thing is realizing that you have got to suck it up…you have got to hold to Christ… so you can see His power…give up to soon…you will not see it!!  

Another thing that is key is to make sure you know your role!!

It is like this passages of scripture in Matthew 20:20-28 and then in Mark 10:32-45

Where the mom and the sons both asked Jesus this question!

“In your Kingdom, please let my sons sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right, and one on your left”  (Matthew 20)

“When You sit on your glorious throne, we want to sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right, and one on your left!”  (Mark 10)

Jesus’ response in both scriptures: “You don’t know what you are asking! Are you able to drink from the bitter cup of suffering that I am about to drink, are you able to be baptized with the baptism of suffering I must be baptized with!”  they answer yes….He says ” You will indeed drink from my bitter cup and be baptized with my baptism of suffering.  But I have no right to say who will sit on my right or my left. God has prepared those places for the ones he has chosen.”

Needless to say…the big thing is not where you will end up…the key is that you will drink of the suffering…for that is where Christ will take your life by storm!!

These two guys wanted to have stature, and Jesus just wants them to see His power!!!

So for today…my challenge to you is that you let Christ show you your weakest spot, so that His strength can be seen so much more!!!

SEE YOU TOMORROW!!

T

So as I am physically(not wanting to put my eyes on any espn channel for the next week for this is all we will see), and emotionally(sad to see someone that was great, possibly not go out on top) annoyed by the appearance of this talk about Brett Favre making yet a possible 2nd comeback, I have thought of an intriguing twist to all of this!

First of all here is a quarterback who had retired once, drug himself out of retirement to try and place an impact on those that were close to him, fans of him and ultimately all of football, and that he did. Then he did it again, he retired a second time, and is now seeking another comeback…possibly…..I do not in any way shape or form think that this is going to end up the way that he hopes, but one thing is, he will go down swinging.  I personally think that he was a great quarterback, but is making a mistake by coming back out of retirement for the 2nd time.  

Then there is my savior, one who sort of like Brett, is a Hall of Famer, someone who walked this earth risking every bone in His body, literally, and no matter what anyone thought of Him, He was about His business, which was His Fathers!  Then it happen it came time for Him to retire, and some wanted to see Him go, and few were fighting to keep him here (the majority cheering when He retired).  His job was “done” so to say on this earth and frankly He did not need to accomplish anything else on this earth to remain the savior!  Then it happened, He busted out of retirement and people completely questioned His coming back, wondering if it was really Him, How it could happened and whatnot….but face the truth, in His eyes and for us it needed to be done.  Now this is completely where I believe this situation completely differs, When Christ comes back for the second time, it will be the most anticipated event of my lifetime, and I would never want to turn the channel away from it!!  So needless to say, Christ’s coming out of retirement, will leave everybody without questions, while this Brett Favre situation has everyone including many sportscasters saying….STAY RETIRED we do not need you!!!

If there is one thing that I love about the Brett Favre situation, it is the fact that in Brett’s eyes, he has to have football.  No matter what people are saying, no matter how many people who say stay retired (me included) or how much pain he is going through….he simply loves the game, and every aspect of it.  No matter what is going on around him, it is not keeping him from what he has to do!!  

So I pose the question, Do you have to have Christ, like I guess Brett Favre has to have football?  Do you really not care what people think of you and if you became a spectacle in the world’s eyes,you would still desire to be HIS CHILD!  Would you tuck your tail and go hide at a ranch in Mississippi, or would you explore every open door to make sure you are finishing the job that Christ has given you. Do you need Christ or is He just a commodity for you to have around.  

It leads me to a verse that I recently came across in Luke 9:50 where it states  Don’t stop him! Anyone who is not against you is for you!  Which leads me to say there are people in this world even including satan that will rise against you, and there will be those who verbally poke at you about following Christ…..but those that are not against you are for you!!! You have more on your side than what you think!! Stop living in the world of retirement spiritually and come back for more, there is more to be done!!
But Brett…..stay retired, or at least pick a team that you have a chance at winning a super bowl with…but then again that is not you…you like to face every adversity in your life and slam it into the wall!! To that I say…win a championship for Uncle Gary, a long time Vikings fan!!

The question to ponder is, what do you have the ability to see? So many things are based on vision, actually pretty much our whole life is based off of what we can see, and I can honestly say that sometimes I wish I could not see the way that I do.  You see at the top of my blog-site you will see a quote that was taught and ingrained into my head by the great Dennis Moles.  A quote that if we actually grab it, can change the world.  ”Love people until they ask why, and then loving them some more!”  This is what life is about, but you truly cannot love people without seeing them.  The first thing that I learned growing up was something that I wish I could go back and reverse, because if I could, this whole seeing thing, and loving well thing would have happened sooner. I loved well, do not get me wrong…..seriously have been spit on, people picking fights, punched by an adult, and honestly not respected too much, but all of that did not change the way that I felt about the ones that did those things to me….for one it is nothing compared to what happened to my savior, but that in all honesty is not why I allowed those things to happen.  I did not say, hey punch me in the teeth, I want to be like my Lord.  No it was just a characteristic, and gift that God has given me, to let things roll of my back, like a duck with water so to say!  You harm me, I love you….but I really wish I could have loved in the way that Christ intended!  I know alot of you will say, you did Tug, you loved so well, but to that I would say…I could have loved people better, I could have seen them the way that God wanted me to!  What I am trying to relay cannot be said by any words that I can tell you and can be summed up in this verse!

In John 3:3 it states “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God!” 

For the longest of time growing up I would hear this verse, and say that is great, I know that I am born again, and someday I will be able to see the Kingdom of God, in which I thought could only be summed up by streets of gold, the lion laying with the lamb, and even seeing David and other people that I cannot wait to talk to.  Instead it is summed up by not only those things, but Fourth Street, Main Street, my back yard, your back yard, and everyone that comes against your backyard.  The way that you see them now can be completely changed if you actually realize that you really do not see them until you SEE THEM.  How you see them is the next thing!  Do you see them as people, or your way to enhance the Kingdom of God.  For to say God’s kingdom is here on earth means one thing, there is someone that is trying to overthrow it as well. How are we gonna take it back, are we gonna continue living in the aspect of lazy love, or are we going to go out of our way to love each other.  Are we going to see the hurting and feel it is not our responsibility, or are we going to have to feel their responsibility because we can now see them.  Are we going to go around samaria, instead of “having” to walk through it as Christ did when it was frowned on!  Are we going to fight for our King, or bow down to the world’s king!  Satan right now is trying to gain a stronghold in what is meant to be the Kingdom of God! The question is, If you have the ability to see (have been born again and are walking with God) are you really seeing????  To see is to do something about it, to look is to leave it in question!

Hope this challenges you!!

So many thoughts have been passing through my head lately….so many thoughts of wonder, of excitement, of curiousity, of love, how to love everyone well.  How to walk through the mud and the mire while holding onto a God that never changes, how to look up while it seems that so much stuff is going down!  How to run and not get weary and how to wake up every morning at 5 am and push myself physically as I am spiritually!  Alot has happened of recent, and if you have not heard, I will let you know what is going on in my life at this current time…..crazy stuff, and am so jacked to be a part of all of this, yet it is one of the hardest times of my life!  About a month and a half ago I really felt like God was going to be moving in my life in a way that I have never experienced, and in all honesty at that time it even felt uncomfortable!  We had started this new thing with our student ministry called “joes on the road” in which the teens have no idea where we are going until they get here, and that night we were visiting Cornerstone Harvest Church in Lima.  I wanted the teens to experience a complete different style of worship that they have never seen.  Worship was amazing, the message was as well….and then this happened.  A friend of mine that I have alot of respect for, who is an assistant pastor at that church, asked me to sit with him.  I did, and he says, “every time that I looked at you during the service, I felt God telling me this, that in the next few weeks, you are going to have some rough meetings ahead, but do not be afraid for your heart is right, and the decisions that you make will take you to a different level!! I walk out and share this with only one other person, an adult leader, and I was blown away, but had already been feeling God stirring something in my heart, so this somewhat gave me a peace!  Well, needless to say, giving has been down of recent at our church, and the economy has taken its toll and 3 weeks to the day after that service, I am pulled in the pastors office before staff meeting, and he tells me that due to finances, I and the children’s pastor will be getting laid off on June 17….I actually smiled, not out of disrespect, but because the stirring of what God had already been doing is now coming into fruition.   This is nuts, I mean here I am being told that only due to finances I will be out of a job, and I have a complete peace with it!! This is not me, if you know me, I am so worried about being the provider for my family, someone who has got to completely know that all is well, but not this time…at the biggest point in my life where I should have doubt, I have none!  I personally know that this is God, because none of it makes sense!  Alot of times that is the way that God works, when things do not appear to make sense in mans eyes, God ultimately uses them for His glory!!  Needless to say I feel like God is overcoming one of the darkest times (losing a job) with His Brightness.  You see I have been on a rampage for a while now in my studies, and have really been diving into scripture, and I truthfully know that no matter what, if I continue to draw close to Him, He will draw near to me, and He already is! It is like no matter what I do, I know that He is my rock, and He is the only thing that can hold me up….it pains me to lose the direct weekly relationship with my teens and adult leaders, but I am so JACKED about the future that it is not even funny….Here are some lyrics from a song that has really hit home with me…

Well I’ve been hit from every corner

And I’ve been thrown from side to side

And I’m cracked up in the inside

So I come to You for life

Your presence always heals me

So I wanna’ drink it in

You know where we’re going God

And You know where I’ve been

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning around.

Yesterday I felt so angry

And today so insecure

And I hate it that I wrestle with the God that I adore

Your presence always heals me

So I wanna drink it in

You know where we’re going God

And You know where I’ve been.

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And I know less about You

But my heart loves You so much more

You’re the bright in sadness

You’re my brightness

I wish this thing could pass from me

But I’m wanting what You want

So bring me high and bring me low

Just hold me in Your love

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning

And your love is like a rock

When I’m spinning around.

So when my life is spinning out of control there is only one Rock , and that is who I am leaning on!!! He came into the mud and put my life on solid ground, He sent His son to be the mediator and through Him, we can see the Kingdom!  He loves us so much that He wants to share all of it with us!! What do we have to do in return, Fight, Love, Respect, Serve, Listen, be His subjects, and rule His Kingdom right along with Him and how can I do that, if I do not trust the KING!!!

So needless to say, in  my darkest place, I see His brightness clearer than ever before!!

Books that are helping in this time:

The Barbarian Way: by McManus

Jesus for President: by Claiborne

The Bible: studying Psalms in which it consistently talks about Crying out to God

Music that is helping:

Charlie Hall: The Bright Sadness

Jars of Clay: The Long Fall Back to Earth

1. What is something daddy always says to you? Go in your room…LOL

2. What makes daddy happy? sitting by me.

3. What makes daddy sad? i don’t know. .

4. How does your daddy make you laugh? sometimes when he laughs.

5. What was your daddy like as a child? FART…..LOL

6. How old is your daddy? 18.

7. How tall is your daddy? takes her hands and makes about a foot!!! LOL Like the five dollar foot long

 8. What is his favorite thing to do? See Bob and Larry.

9. What does your Daddy do when you’re not around? Goes on a date with Tanner…my 2 yr old son.

10. If your daddy becomes famous, what will it be for? Being FUNNY.

11. What is your Daddy really good at? Doing games to get stuffed animals.

12. What is your Daddy not very good at? putting dogs back in their cage.

13. What does daddy do for a job? feeds people, something on his computer!

14.What is your daddy’s favorite food? Pizza

15.What makes you proud of your dadddy? Doing letters and writing Tanners name

16. If your daddy were a cartoon character, who would he be? DORA…LOL

17. What do you and your daddy do together? Play and Dancing.

18. How are you and your daddy the same? a long time ago you had blond hair!! we watch cartoons

19. How are you and your daddy different? you have pieces of red hair now!!…

20. How do you know your daddy loves you? When you kiss me…and morgan and tanner

21. What does your daddy like most about your mommy? giving her rings…and letting her smile at you

22. What is your daddy’s favorite place to go? to the buckeyes games!!

23. What do you wish you could do with your daddy? play with him, with dora stuff, and princess stuff

24. Where do you like to go with Daddy? grandma and grandpa’s house 25. When you grow up what do you want to be? Dora?

26. Who is your favorite person in the bible? Dora…Lol

27. What is your favorite thing to eat? Pizza?

28. Who is your best friend?? Daddy, and Mommy…and Grandma…papaw Tanner chimes in: and Josh, and Andy, and Clint, and Jacob, and Papaw

29. Where do you want to go on vacation? to the Fair

30. Who is your favorite person? Andy (the old drummer for This Beautiful Republic) Tanner chimes in …Andy the drummer