Again, we will get to the point in a bit! From my readings of Crazy Love (anything in italics is straight from the book)

I have to admit, this morning I came in to work early to make sure that I get a few things done, but another reason I like getting to work early, is the fact that my office is quiet before 9, with usually only Mark (my brother from another mother) Aaron (accountant who is a great guy and fellow believer) , Kristy (our Shipping and Receiving backbone, and fellow believer) and Bob (someone, who I have the utmost respect for, and have grown to understand).  This morning was no different, except the fact that  I find myself fighting back tears, not that anything has happened to me , or that I am completely out of line, but simply I read a question that was posed by John Piper but can be found in the book Crazy Love on page 100…Here it is!

The critical question for our generation- and every generation-is this:   If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied, if Christ was not there?

I asked myself this question this morning and almost began crying…I am getting it, I am really getting it.  I have been fighting this for so long and truly wondering what is enough for Christ, not out of guilt, not out of fear, or anything, but what in totality does Christ want from me.  This question put it all in perspective…If I get to see Grandma again, if I can enjoy my kids and wife when in heaven, La Charreada, Will Rock 4 Food, Mom and Dad and my Brother Gabe’s fam, and other family, the Buckeyes, Racquetball, the elliptical, and yes the Cleveland Browns, If I had all of these earthly things in heaven, would I be satisfied with being in heaven with these if Christ was not there…..HOLY FREAKIN CRAP, that is a wake up call if I have ever seen one.  I mean think about it, does alot of your thought of Heaven focus on the fact of who you are going to meet when you get there, or the fact that you get to spend the rest of eternity in the presence of Christ. I must answer that I do the same…and that is not cool, but still ok!  I do not think, It is going to be the thing that I have longed for, for my whole life, to die and be in the presence of God for eternity and think that is enough. But my eyes are open, and I see that the true importance of this life is not the complete result in the end, although do not get me wrong, I believe that I am the biggest fan of getting to spend the rest of my life in heaven, but the biggest thing is the way that I am running to God on this earth right now!

The fact is that I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to love Him, I definitely need His help to love other, fault filled human beings.  I mean think about it, we cannot love God well without God, we would lose or focus. So the major thing that we need to think about is the fact that we need God to step in and show us exactly how to love Him, ourself and others and the only way to love others well, is to run straight to loving God, if we do this with all that we are, and we run to him because He is our refuge, instead of guilt, if we run to him, I mean with a laser focus…then watch what He does with our lives.  The fact is that we run towards Him, while carrying other things with us….I mean have you ever tried  to run while eating a box of twinkies, besides being self-defeating and sideache inducing, it would also be near impossible–you would have to stop running, in order to eat the twinkies. In the same way, you have to stop loving and pursuing Christ in order to sin! When you are running toward Christ, and pursuing love, you do not have the time to wonder, Am I doing this right, or did I serve enough this week!

So this is it, Is Christ enough to run after with just Himself being the result of why I am loving so much, or am I loving out of selfish guilt driven ambition!  My prayer today has been that I will take whatever that has been placed in front of God, even though He knows what my heart wants, will be put in a secondary role, and Him be my main reason for loving Him and people, the way that I do.  I challenge you to join me in this prayer.  Please leave a comment if you are not going to “Run with Twinkies” any longer.

Jesus, I need to give myself up, I am not strong enough to love YOU and walk with YOU on my own.  I can’t do it, and I need YOU.  I need YOU deeply and desperately.  I believe YOU are worth it,that YOU are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next.  I want YOU! And when I think I don’t, I want to want YOU.  Be all in me. Take all of me. Have your way with me! Amen

BE GREAT TODAY GUYS!! THINK OF WHO LOVES YOU!

In light of Thanksgiving I have chosen to blog on Chapter 5 of Crazy Love, by Francis Chan.

For many years of my life, especially my high school years and those shortly after, I served God the leftovers and felt no shame, I took my eyes off of scripture and compared myself to others. The bones that I threw to God had more meat on them than the ones others threw on them, so I thought that I was doing Good.  I wonder if that is how Cain felt when He served up the offering for God that He did not accept.  Or maybe it was because I was satisfied with just doing what I thought was just enough to suffice God, you know kind of like the dog that you have in a kennel outside and jumps up and down until you give Him a bone, and then he will stop barking for  a short period of time.  In Hosea 13:6 says “When I fed them , they were satisfied, when they were satisfied they became proud, then they forgot me.”  I would go to the random prayer group in the morning, hold hands and close my eyes and think about practice after school, or I would go to TFC, and give Him the token singing of a song, or listening to the lesson and responding to some questions….or even church, where I would be every Sunday, enjoying it nonetheless, but it was just another day…and another time for me to give God the leftovers of my life, when I think He left all of the meat on His Son and sent Him to the cross to die for me? Am I right on that, did He send a third of his son, did He cut off his finger and save the world? Because honestly he could have decided that, that would be enough for us!

Nah, that is not our GOD, He does everything for us knowing what it is going to take for wretched souls to see His grace, and ugly, sinful, creations that He made, who just play the game….or are we even in the game?!?  Take this scripture for example, when you read this, is He talking to the saved or the unsaved?

Revelations 3:15-18 “I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were even one ore the other! So because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.  But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold, refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes so you can see”

(page 84-85, Crazy Love ) When you read this passage, do you naturally conclude that to be “spit” our of Jesus’ mouth means you are a part of His kingdom?  When you read the words poor, wretched, pitiful, blind and naked, do you think that He’s describing saints? When He counsels them to  buy white clothes to cover their shameful nakedness, does it sound like advice for those already saved….I thought that those who were already saved were already made white, and clothed by Christ’s blood?

Wow….I have never actually thought of this, is there ever really a luke-warm Christian…or has that person really experienced the grace that God has intended for us to have.  I mean if I am looking at this scripture and looking at all of the times that we serve up our token praise (now I am not saying that there are not times when we have lukewarm tendencies, but quickly turn back) or we just step in church to stay with the jones’s.  The fact that in scripture right above it says that Jesus wants all or nothing is enough to say, HEY MAN, for thanksgiving do not even serve me any turkey, and mashed potatoes…give me nothing, why would I want it anyway, if it something that you really have not grasped.  Do we sugarcoat crap, to only realize that it is still crap when we get to the bottom of it?  Do we send mixed messages from the pulpits of our churches that our mediocre lives are just ok, that you can just come here, and life will be great during the week, are we that have been pastors even more responsible for sharing a mediocre message of God’s love and not the maincourse.  WE FLAT OUT, need to quit giving God the leftovers, and need to offer Him everything that we have in our kitchen, and anything else we can come up with.

So your family is coming over in less than 48 hours and you have one agenda, getting their meal ready so that when they get done eating, they loved what you gave them….it filled them up, and honestly they cannot wait till you serve it up again!

Some of you that are reading this may be like, Tug, you are taking this all wrong…..Tug, this is not what was intended by this scripture, and to that I say, that we can find any quote on anything that can back every view up…but the point that I am trying to make here is the only point that we need to get!  GOD WANTS ALL OF US, not the leftover…..last but not least an excerpt from page 86 in Crazy Love

Let’s face it We’re willing to make changes in our lives only if we think it affects our Salvation.  This is why so many people ask questions like, Can I divorce my wife and still go to heaven? Do I have to be baptized to be saved? Am I a Christian even though I am having sex with my girlfriend?  If I commit suicide can I still go to heaven?  If I am ashamed about Christ, is He really gonna deny knowing me?  To me, these questions are tragic, because they reveal much about the state of our hearts. They demonstrate that our concern is more about going to heaven than loving the King!! In John 14:15, Jesus says “If you love me, you will obey what I command!”  And one question becomes even more unthinkable!  Can I go to heaven without truly and faithfully loving Jesus? I DO NOT SEE ANYWHERE IN SCRIPTURE HOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION COULD BE YES!

If we claim we know God, and feed Him leftovers, is He really in us???  You may say you know Him, but is He the LORD of you life that He wants to be?

Answer these honestly..(page 97 Crazy Love)

Are you willing to say to God that He can have whatever He wants?  Do you believe that wholehearted commitment to Him is more important than any other thing or person in your life?  Do you know that nothing you do in this life will ever matter, unless it is about loving God, and loving the people that He has made?

After answering those questions, I challenge you to eat on Thursday, only as much as you serve God!!  Hope you can eat more than one of Grandma’s homemade noodles!

This is gonna be a short post….Angie and I went to church this morning, and I sat there in complete disbelief!  The whole message was so right on with the book Crazy Love, that I am reading right now.  The pastor even talked about our good deeds being like filthy rags!! Now he did not mention them being like used tampons….although I was wondering if he was gonna say it! LOL  He spoke about the twinkling of an eye, about us really seeing God for who He is, and the part that really got me was this…As much as I have  enjoyed blogging this week, and oh by the way, Sundays are gonna only be a short blog day, I realize that this is exactly what God wants me to hear! I do not read a ton of books, and I felt lead to read this one, and then the first time in church, boom, right upside the head with the same dang stuff I read this week.  You cannot tell me God does not speak directly to you!! He has to me this week!

See ya tomorrow with the next chapter of Crazy Love

When I was reading Chapter 4 of Crazy Love, I just could not help but just take the questions and put them on here…, just post these descriptions and let you think….SO SEE IF THIS IS YOU>

LUKEWARM PEOPLE

• attend church regularly, It is what is expected of them, what they believe “good Christians” do, so they go
• give money to charity and to the church…as long as it doesn’t impinge on their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it is safe to give, they do so. After all, God loves a cheerful giver, right?
• tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict.  They desire to fit in both at church and outside of church; they care more about what people think of their actions (like church attendance and giving) than what God thinks of their hearts and lives.
• don’t really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin; they don’t genuinely hate sin and aren’t truly sorry for it, they are merely sorry, because God is going to punish them.
• are moved by stories of people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act on it. They feel this is only for “extreme” Christians.
• rarely share their faith because they do not want to make people feel uncomfortable by talking about private issues, like religion.
• feel satisfied with their so-so Christianity… hey, they are not as bad as the guy down the street!
• say they love Jesus, and He is a part of their life, but only a part….HE IS NOT ALLOWD TO HAVE FULL CONTROL
• think that total devotion to God really isn’t possible.
• love others but do not seek to love others as much of themselves….they give them the left overs
• love God and others, but there are limits to how far they will go, how much time, money and energy they are willing to give
• think about life on earth more often than eternity in heaven, focused on the to-do list, rather than the life to come!
• feel called to minister to the “rich”, while very few feel called to minister to the “poor”
• do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling “too” guilty….do the bare minimum just to be good enough
• do not sacrifice or enjoy risking it for God.
• feel safe because they attend church, got saved at the age of 12, baptized, come from a christian family, vote Republican, or live in America
• do not live by faith, only by structure
• drink and swear less than the normal person, but aren’t that different from the normal unbeliever

Kind of a wake up call don’t you think…. I mean seriously think about all the characteristics of being luke warm…chew on it for a while and then either decide if you want to walk away, or completely turn it on for God.  I saw an analogy once, and I believe it was a Francis Chan message, where he was talking about how he loves lemonade, and he loves chocolate milk and had them in two separate cups….then he mixed them together and drank it…simply just nasty..and that is the way it is with being luke warm….if you are gonna sin…man go all out….if you are going to love Christ….go all out…do not sit in the middle!  I am working on going all out..after I read this chapter, I do believe that I would be considered lukewarm…time to turn it up people!

In Matthew 13:44 it says… The Kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy he went and sold all he had and bought the field.

Is that how you love God, once you find it…you go bury it in your heart, get rid of everything that is holding you back and go and BET THE FARM on HIM!!!

I know the title drew you here, and that is what I wanted it to do… believe me, when you understand what we are getting at by the end of this blog, you will understand the title. It will help you understand God’s love for you.  (this is my blog on chapter 3 of Crazy Love, by Francis Chan)

Do you know that God loves you, Are you scared of Him and led to Him only by Guilt or do you really understand that He is flat out Crazy about you….do you come to him with all reserves aside and no care in the world, and realize that though you are mistake driven, God still loves YOU!!!

KNOWING GOD’S LOVE FROM MY DAD!

To get this to you I am gonna embelish my dad a little bit, and maybe you are not able to do this because you have not had a great relationship with your dad, and maybe that could be why it is hard for you to understand that God loves you.  Some of you know my dad, and you would never think that my dad is one of the most caring individuals. Maybe you saw him at a game in high school yelling at the refs, and almost getting kicked out of a game, or maybe you have just seen him.  He to the normal eye( we were at the fair this year and one of the CARNIES even told him he does not look like someone who follows the rules) looks like someone you would not want to upset!  That is where it is all wrong, my dad has one of the biggest hearts ever and one of the biggest images of love that a son could have ever seen.  My dad and I growing up and even now have one of the closest relationships that a son could ever ask for…why…because I knew from the beginning that he loved me.  Even the one time when I tried to give him a wedgie and he ripped my underwear off..LOL…Nothing impressed me more, than the using of his vacation days to come to our basketball games.  There was nothing like a backscratching from dad growing up. Everyone that I know that does not really know my dad always says…your dad is a beast., but never gets to see his tender heart! My dad has always provided in ways for us that I can never show enough gratitude, and has cared for my kids even so much, that they love their papaw Rock with all their hearts, why, because he loves them. So I must say that I can attribute a little bit of me knowing that my heavenly Father loves me because my dad has loved and loves me well.  But maybe you do not have the benefit that I had growing up, maybe your dad was not that loving of you, and you were always fearful of him…maybe he beat you, demeaned you, and never came to your events….sit back and think, can I attribute the way that I look at God, to the way that I have seen my earthly father. Now I know you are supposed to be fearful of God, but not led to pray, praise Him, spend time with Him out of strict guilt.

KNOWING GOD’S LOVE BY BEING A DAD!

Secondly I would like to discuss the love of my Heavenly Father towards me with the way that I view my relationship with my kids.  You see if you even have a remote clue of who I am, you know my kids.  If you have talked with me , you know all of the ins and outs of what my kid is saying today, what they did that was funny last night, what they want for Christmas, how much they mean to me. I want to give Morgan, Reese, and Tanner the best relationship that a dad could give their kids.  It all began when I heard that first cry in the delivery room, the moment that my oldest daughter took her first breath…then it was time to cut the umbilical cord….the time that she was going to have to rely on me for alot of things, and the time that I was going to spend loving for her (and my other 2 the same way) and caring for her in a way that no one else could. I watch them grow up and become more independent and love them even more.  The best feeling that I have is when that 5 o’clock bell strikes and I pack up my laptop and head home, and I cannot wait to get there. I walk up to the door and 90% of the time before I even get into the garage, that door pops open and out comes 3 of the most precious gifts that I could ever have asked for….to run up to me, hug me, give me a kiss, and let dad know how much they love Him.  Now really think about the love that I as their earthly father have for them and listen to these verses.

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! -Matthew 7:11  (I go overboard to make sure my kids enjoy life, now can you imagine if that is the case, how much God has in store with us, with his love?)

The word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; ” Jeremiah 1:4-5a (When my children were born, I felt a love like no other, realize that God had that feeling about us before we were born….wow….he set us apart, those who call Him FATHER….HE actually wants you!!!)

KNOWING GOD’S LOVE FROM HIS LOOKING PAST MY FAILURES AND LOVING ME!

This is where the title comes in, and I know before you were like…where is he gonna tie that in…You see when I was younger, when I did something wrong, there was always a result of some sort of punishment. Whether it was grounding, whether it was my grandma breaking a ruler over my butt, getting my mouth washed out with soap…whatever it was there was always a consequence for doing something wrong.  Now think about it, alot of times we are hesitant to think about the love that God really has for us, by really dwelling on how many times we have failed him….we tend to think about the failures sooooooo much more than the successes.  And we really want to outweigh the failures with the good. It will never happen! That does not mean we should not try to live set apart….it just means, we sin, and we need to know that God still loves us…(if you know the story of David…you may be able to get God looking past failures and calling someone a man after His heart) But in scripture there are two verses that tell me, I am not perfect and that my good deeds really nothing compared to God’s holiness.

No one is good-except God alone- Luke 18:19  (realize it people you are not gonna be perfect but we have someone that is there to love us, and accept us for who we are)

All our righteous acts are like filthy rags! Isaiah 64:6 (your good will never outweigh your sin) On page 60 of Crazy Love, Francis Chan says this .. ” The literal interpretation of ‘filthy rags’ in this verse is ‘menstrual garments’ (think used tampons…and if you are disgusted by that, then you get Isaiah’s point.  It is hard to imagine something more disgusting that we could brag about or put on display. But compared to God’s perfect holiness that is how our good deeds appear!

God’s mercy is a free, yet costly gift.  It cannot be earned. Our righteous acts, just like used tampons certainly don’t help us deserve it. (end of excerpt from book) No matter what you think, no matter what religion you are….your good works cannot get you to understand God’s perfect love for you.  You cannot earn your way to feel it.  It is something that has to be developed and through the relationship you will understand the love that He has for you.  If our good deeds are compared to one of the things that you never would think about talking about, than how do we get there.  We need to realize that it is only by God’s grace that we can ever know His love.  We know we deserve hell, but through God we can experience heaven (Romans 6:23) We know we have sinned, and do not even deserve to know His Love (Romans 3:23) We know that even though we have been a grotesque image to God He still loves us and sent His Son for us (Romans 5:8, John 3:16)  And ultimately we know that once we realize we cannot make it to heaven on our own, we need to change our life to learn to live in His image. (Romans 12:1-2)

So no matter where you are at…maybe you did not have a relationship with your dad, or maybe it is filled with bad memories…..GOD STILL WANTS YOU

Maybe you do not have a great relationship with your kids and do not understand the fact that God loves it when we run out the garage door and into His lap to love Him, and let Him feel that in return……GOD STILL LOVES YOU!

Or finally maybe you think that your sin is too much for God’s Son to have bore on that Cross, and that He could not have done that for you…GOD STILL DID THAT….for you!

So wherever you maybe….God still is waiting for you, and is loving you, with a love that we will never be able to understand why, but can rest in the fact that He does!!

Please, lets start a discussion on this topic, and if you have questions please ask!!

But there is nothing normal about today.  Just think about everything that must function properly for you to survive! (Page 39 of Crazy Love, by Francis Chan)

I was driving out to work the other day, and I was thinking this exact thing, in fact I actually spoke this to Angie the other day!  Do we actually realize how much we are not in control.  As Francis points out in this book and as I realized the other day ( I was not in a wreck, I just thought this), we drive down the road at 65, well maybe 70-75, 80 if you are my mom, and we pass cars going the opposite way.  We do not think about or even remotely wonder if that car that is coming has been kept up well, or if the driver is alert, or if his tire is gonna burst, or if he is updating his facebook status while driving.  We simply think that he is in control of his car, and I am in control of mine or maybe we do not even think anything, because we really think that we are going to live past today, and for quite sometime.  We do not think about how our heart is beating on perfect rhythm, or if our kidneys are functioning right.  As Francis points out, ” the only people that think about their kidneyes functioning right, are those with kidney problems.”  This is the way it is with our life, we do not realize how short it is, we do not even begin to chew, or even touch this verse. “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”  James 4:13-14

This 2nd chapter of Crazy Love has opened my eyes to quite a few thoughts! Do I really know that I am not in control of my life in totality.  Do I realize that God is ultimately the One who is in control and at any second my life could vanish and in a twinkling of an eye, I could be gone. Am I ready for that? How have I prepared my life in a way so that the preacher will not have to lie at my funeral ( I used to have a shirt that said that)  Think about that, have you ever been to a funeral where the preacher says something bad about the person that is being buried? (Francis points this out in the book) I mean we sit there and think, well he/she was not that great of a person, but it is like an unwritten law that you have to say everything positive about the person that has died.

I have done 9 funerals in my life as a pastor(6 of them have been car accidents), and each one of them have been very hard to speak  at and walk through, I have buried 5 of my teenagers, my friends Grandpa, my wife’s grandpa, my cousin, and my own Grandma, and for the most part only one of them did I truly know well enough (now do not think that all of them were bad, in fact my cousin come to find out was really someone that I wish I would have known better, she truly loved well) to know that every word that was coming out of my mouth that day was the truth.

There was this lady named Marilyn Conrad (my Grandma), who lived every waking minute, up until her last breathe at the Nursing Home in Wapakoneta, Ohio, for Christ.  I mean every second…well there was that one time she, my mom and Angie came down to visit me at church camp, and she fell out of bed and cussed….oh and that one time, her son Jim was taking  a corner too fast and she let another one go….but literally if you knew my Grandma, you have met someone authentic!  Someone who spent every waking minute praying, praising, teaching, thinking and knowing who God was to her, and in her what we would call battle with Cancer, it was not a battle to her, just another day closer to glory (as my buddy Mark would say) Now that I look back on her life, and I am thankful that I knew her the way I did, I realize that the biggest effect that she has had on my life is not the fact that she was my best of friends, but the simple fact that since I knew her, I was able to see someone who knew their life was a vapor and was going to live it that way.

So here we sit, as a human, we are worried about what car we want, what toy we are going to buy our kids for Christmas, what the job looks like, what tomorrow will bring,when we do not even know if we are going to get there! Seriously, think about it, I am getting ready to go to bed tonight and as I sit here, I have always wondered how our bodies rest and then wake back up, it is a big deal of everything working together.  So with that in mind I have got a complete decision to make, if I am just an “extra” in this movie of life, and I, much to my own demise am not the main character, but the movie is all about “God”  what am I doing to make Him more visible…..HOW MANY CAMERA ANGLES AM I GIVING PEOPLE ABOUT GOD IN MY LIFE.  Your life is not about you….sorry….the promotion, the money, the presents, the sex, the beer, the partying, you will not even remember some of the people, and as Francis Chan points out, NO ONE WILL KNOW YOU IN 50 years, in fact hardly anyone that you know will remember you in 50 years…so quit living as if you are going to live forever, and the people that are around you are always going to be there!

It sucks to think about but it is true!

I guess what I am getting from this chapter is this….you and your relationship with God is the only thing that matters,  on page 42 it says that Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what is happening in our lives, and that Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control!  These two things keep us from realizing that God is in control and handing the reins over to HIM.

Do you need to simply sit back, and really know that He is in control, can you be like my Grandma and Rejoice in every moment of your life….if you got cancer today, would you have to change the way you are walking.  You see some people have a great reputation and that is it…In Revelation 3:1 it says “I know your deeds,you have a reputation of being alive,but you are dead.

WAKE UP…you are not hear for that long….so live your life so they do not have to question what the preacher is speaking at your funeral!!

This counts as my Thursday blog…if I make it that far

What if I said, “Stop praying”? What if I told you to stop talking at God for a while, but instead to take a long, hard look at Him before you speak another word? Solomon warned us not to rush into God’s presence with words. That’s what fools do. And often, that’s what we do. (excerpt from the book “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

For so many times in our lives we pray, we pray often and we speak often, and most of the times that we speak we are either thanking Him for what we have, or praying for what we do not. We are hurting, we are sick, someone we know is sick, or we are just flat out  angry at God or at someone in our lives and we need to use someone or something to vent these frustrations at or too!  Please note that all of these are viable reasons to pray, and for the most part in all honesty I am guilty of doing this as well!  The thing is do we really know Who we are praying to, do we stop and think before we pray, or do we just rattle of words and requests to a God that we take for granted!

Let me give you the same example that Francis gave in his book, but in my life!  So many times people come up to me and say.  Tug, is that your wife….I answer yes, and with a pause, I know what they are thinking…so I am quick to point out that she is my better third.  Truth of the matter, do I take the time to notice the beauty that I have married, or do I simply take for Granted what I am blessed with. It is the same way with God, Do we truly know the beauty, do we truly know the power, do we truly know the exact image that we are praying to and in relationship with!

So after I scrape my mind up off of the floor, as many times I have done when listening to Francis Chan’s messages or reading a half of page of his books, I truly begin to think that God is actually the one that I am speaking to….the same God that gave the caterpillar 228 separate muscles in its head, the average elm tree 6 million leaves, the one that gives you a heart with enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet, the one that helps plants defy gravity and suck water up from the ground into their stems. (facts from page 15 of Crazy Love)  So if He is the one I am speaking to, am I coming to Him the way that I should, or am I just babbling of words that truly are not from the bottom of who I am, or is He, who created the universe my crutch!

Truly think about that, are you using the only one that is HOLY, the only one that is ETERNAL, the only one that KNOWS everything as a crutch, do you go to Him and question why He created you the way you are? You wish you looked like so and so, or you wish you had the same “daily walk with Christ” as this person.  Do we ask these questions and use Him as a crutch only because we have yet to figure out who He ultimately is to us!  Do you need a picture of who God is, do you need to really look at who He is before you pray to Him! Do you know His power or are you just guessing that He could heal your body, your relationship, your friend, or your depression.  Do you really know that He knows everything, or do you continue to live in the world of habitual sin thinking you are hiding it from God(Hebrews 4:13 says, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account”) when nothing can be hidden from Him. Do you really praise Him for who He is, or do you even take the time to marvel at what  He has created, including yourself.  For so long in my life, I have underestimated who God is to me, and have looked past His power, His Beauty, His Creativity, and His patience!  You see He never gets sick of us coming to Him, but sometimes I wonder if He is like….you don’t mean it, so please shutup…you don’t love Me, so please don’t use Me, you only want Me to provide for you….How are you loving for Me???  I know it sucks to think about…but has your walk this far been more about you, than God?  Has it been more out of selfish ambition, than knowing that God is the one that is capable of doing God sized things!

I have to admit one thing, the last 6 months of my life, I have been waiting on God to move, when He has been waiting on me to move….into a relationship that is more about Him than me.

Do I need a picture of God on my desk beside my wife’s to remind me every day of His beauty, and How I am blessed to be in a relationship with Him?

I have a challenge for all of you that read this blog…Watch the video that I have here in my blog, and sit back and listen to the words, and realize how much God loves us, but also decide if it is time for you to love Him as much in return!

(the song is amazing, I wanted to put the original video on here but this will have to do)

*mad props to Francis Chan, for his real talk, and convicting yet full of love messages! One of the best!!

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved (Ephesians 2:4-5).

So my life has been pretty crazy the past few months, much to the reason why I have not blogged in a while!I really have had a lot to blog about but have not really felt like people really needed to hear it, or that I do not want to vocalize an opinion but want to really wait on God to tell me what to write about …so here we go, believe me you are in for a treat!

Here is what has happened in the last few months!

-laid off from job due to financial struggles of a church

-started interviewing with a church @ least 5 months ago or so

-really felt that God wanted us to turn WillRock4Food into a non-profit, but did not know why

-really struggled with who I was, and who I thought God wanted me to be

-suffered from a rumor that was spread about me (which completely was not true)

-saw my brother-in laws heart get ripped out, in a relationship that went south (that is all I am sharing on that)

-looking to partner with someone to get a book idea that I have published…looked good, but God has different ideas for both of us

-have helped run 3 concerts in 5 months and running a HUGE ONE NEXT SUNDAY that is only because of God!!

-was shown how to seek after God by an 7….almost 8 year old!!

Needless to say, I have been tossed to and from on an emotional rollercoaster the past few months….from asking God why, to not wanting to do anything, from really desiring something selfishly, to being satisfied with whatever God wants. From being financially stable, to losing my job, but by the grace of God, not missing a paycheck. From running a concert in a park, to running a concert at a stadium that seats 20,000.From being almost hired by a ministry to not knowing if it will happen or not.Whatever these emotions have been, there is only one reason that I have been going through all of this….and once again, it is all because of God’s direction…you can choose to believe that or not…but I will!!

At this time in my life, which has been the hardest, but yet the most refreshing, there has been one underlying factor…..TUG, are you coming at me with your hand or with all of you….

You see the other night, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she said, hey I am on Cole Street…do you care if I stop by! As if I would ever say no, or like she would need to ask, I responded, with of course!She had a reason for coming over, the next day I had a meeting that I have anticipated for a while now, and she wanted to pray with me. After she comes over and we chill for a bit, she asks if she could pray with me for the meeting. Again, I covet my mom’s prayers, so obviously I am not going to say no.She asked Angie (my wife), my daughters (Morgan who is 7, Reese who is 4) and my son (Tanner who is 3) to pray with me and asked them to reach their hands out and touch me….I was like ok this is pretty cool, 5 of my top people in my life right now, surrounding me in prayer, and touching me to really connect with love and affirmation. I realize that there is one hand missing, and it is that of my daughter Morgan. I think, maybe she is not into the laying on of the hands, or maybe she just did not hear Grandma ask, either way I knew she did not have her hand on me. I looked up at her, she looks at me , and she dove, much like you would into water, and dove right on top of my chest and wrapped her hands around my neck (I am crying while typing this, knowing this was from God). She was saying, I do not just want to pray for you by giving you my hand, I want all of me, to cover well…….less than half of you, lol. But she realized that all of her, was what God was wanting her to give. That is , of all the things that has happened over the past few months, the biggest message that I have ever received from God, in the biggest time that I needed it…..and here is how I know that it was what God wanted for me…the next day was filled with affirmations!!!

I immediately felt that, God if that is what you want from me, no problem Man….you can have it! So here I am, a week and a couple days from the concert and I get a phone call from one of my big sponsors saying, pencil me in for this certain amount!!!Amazing!!! Next, I call my attorney to see if he is planning on coming to the concert, and he says YES, and by the way I have your paperwork right here, and you got approved by the state as a 501c3 for WILLROCK4FOOD! One of my wife and I’s friends (Liz Whitney) has had a divine appointment with a guy that is huge into wanting to know more about WillRock4Food, and possibly help us in any way that we can…realize we have no idea who this is, but she does and says we need to be connecting on this!Man, enough is enough, and God just continues to say, you pour out to me, and I am going to unleash everything that I am to you!!!

So, even though I have had a rumor spread about me, that I smoked weed with students, when I have never seen a joint in my life (I know I do act like it, but that may come from being high on the life that God has given me) have been through 4 deaths of students, and had one almost lose their life last week. Whether it has been losing my job only to give me the passion that I need. Whether it is seeing my dream almost become a reality and God have other things in plan with the book. Whether it is seeing your brother in laws heart crushed, to see it built stronger than ever! Whatever has happened in the past few months, has been worth one thing!! Learning how to seek God, by the covering of my 7 year olds prayer!!

“‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered. ‘I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins’” (Mark 11:22-25).

GOD YOU ROCKED MY FACE….now let us ROCK THESE FACES, so we can buy that orphanage in Kenya, and minister to the 20,000 people at Crew Stadium next week….oh and by the way…thanks for the NON-PROFIT status…what in the world are you doing with me, I LOVE IT, and thanks for being my GOD!!!!

If this story has ministered to you and you would like to help us minister to others, send me an email to tug@willrock4food.comwith a story of what God is doing in your life. If you read this and want to help financially with WillRock4Food’s efforts, please contact me at the above, or donate via paypal, by going to www.willrock4food and click on the click 2 donate button at the top of the page!!

So this week I began revamping alot of things to get it ready for the next phase of ministry here at Crossroads. (some of you may not know, but I will be done as youth pastor at Crossroads Church of God on June 17)  I started by cleaning out my desk, which was easy to do physically but emotionally tiring, as you sort through applications from students for leadership, adult leaders, former event plans, lessons, and all that has been your life while in service here at Crossroads.  Then I began refomatting the hard drive on the laptop, so it can be used as the worship station out in the youth room, and can now be at the speed needed to be to show the videos and whatnot!  Then it hit me….you know what I just erased media shout…I just screwed up, although Barb has the churches copy and I can install it again, I was still like dangit!!  But then God moved and I just sat back and listened as He was planning this service out for me for the weekend.  Do not install Media Shout, do not have the words up on the screen, in fact strip the youth room down of seats, and just leave it as an empty room…enough room for the students and ME (God) to be in…. Remove all of the distractions of the normal week and let this week be all about ME!!  As if every week should not be, this week just seems more special….Here is the direction of the night!

I borrowed this book from Jason’s office (jason, I will bring it back Tuesday…lol, he does not even know i have it) and in this book called Inside, Out worship  by Matt Redman it states this on page 99.  As a congregation, we had lost something of our focus in gathered worship, with too much attention on outward things and not enough focus on the heart of our offerings.  SO for a season the pastor was prompted to take away the sound system, band and all other outward props so that we might rediscover the heart of what it really means to worship in spirit and truth together.  The song simply described and gave voice to what God was doing in us….

This is where the song Heart of Worship came from

 When the music fades, all is stripped away, and I simply come, Longing just to bring something that’s of worth, that will bless Your heart…..I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and it’s all about You, all about You, Jesus!!

My question to you…if you simply come, is that enough for you and your relationship…do you have to actually have all of the props and external factors when worshiping Christ, or is He just enough…Maybe you are in a point in your life when all is being stripped away….like possibly being laid off from a job (laughing cause I am in that boat) and maybe you do not see what is ahead…you have an idea, but you cannot see clearly…in which the key is you do not look down long enough to lose focus off of what God is trying to do in your life.

This heart of worship has to be something that is of worth…and the only thing that is of worth for me to give God is my life, in its’ entirety!  Not just a portion, for that is not the effort that Christ gave us while on the cross!!  So in this time of my life, my focus is dang straight on God, and I am not looking down!! Not letting the crap of the day, get in the way of how and Who I am worshiping!  

Maybe you need to strip yourself of pride, the phone, facebook, friends, athletics, family, and whatever may be getting in the way…and give voice to what God is doing in your life!  God is doing something, and maybe you are looking down and not seeing it!!  

Unworthy but His,

Tug

PS.  lights are off in youth room, chairs are out of the room, plain jane to focus on God!!! Let’s Bring it!!

Please read the below story….thoughts below

MUMBAI (Reuters) – City authorities in Mumbai demolished the shanty home of a “Slumdog Millionaire” child star on Thursday, forcing his family into the streets months after the Oscar-winning film shot him to global fame.

Azharuddin Ismail, 9, played the character of Salim as a child in the film, a rags-to-riches romance about a poor Indian boy competing for love and money on a television game show.

Ismail’s tarpaulin-covered home in a teeming slum was one of several shanties, illegally built along a drain, that were demolished by local authorities in Mumbai, India’s financial capital and entertainment hub.

“When they came I was sleeping, they shook me awake and one policeman even threatened me,” Ismail, surrounded by half-broken suitcases filled with clothes and utensils, told Reuters.

“What can I do if they have demolished my house? I will sleep out in the open.”

A poster of “Slumdog Millionaire,” signed by director Danny Boyle, fluttered from the only wall of Ismail’s shanty still standing. Open sewers run nearby and it had no running water.

Authorities said the shanties had been demolished earlier but had sprung up again on the same spot.

“The shanties are all touching a drain that has to be cleaned before the advent of the monsoons,” said U.D. Mistry, the local official in charge of the demolition drive.

Earlier this year, there was an outcry after pictures emerged of “Slumdog Millionaire’s” child stars living in squalor despite the movie’s box-office success and eight Academy Awards.

The film also sparked controversy for its name, deemed by some to be offensive to slum dwellers, and its treatment of the cast. Its depiction of the lives of poor Indians was dubbed “poverty porn” by sections of the media.

In February, the housing authority of Maharashtra state, of which Mumbai is the capital, said they would give Ismail and fellow child star Rubina Ali new houses. But Ismail’s mother, Shameem, said the family is now at the mercy of the rains.

“We also heard that the government had promised us houses, but what happened? We are still homeless,” she said. “My son has brought glory to the country, shouldn’t he get some credit?”

(Writing by Tony Tharakan; Editing by Matthias Williams and Paul Tait)

Usually I will not blog about things of hollywood as far as movies, because it never really effects me as far as emotionally or any thoughts that pop in my head that I have to share, but this is a different story.  If you have not seen Slumdog Millionaire, you need to go right now to your local Redbox, or Video Rental place, or for that matter, you will like the movie so much that you should possibly just buy it!  The story is a rags to riches story that is filmed in a dramatic way, but even watching the movie, you really do not see the complete effect until a story like this surfaces…On Oscar winning movie, and yet these kids are still living in the slums…it shows me a few things.  It really is crap that this kid who was such a vital part of the movie, is not able to live in a normal home, while us in America sit in what we think are not lavish homes, but look at the shed in which they live in that we can purchase at our local hardware store for less than $50.00.  I mean seriously there are so many situations like this that are surfacing, that we as believers need to take into consideration in which avenue we are truly showing others the Kingdom!  

I am writing this as well to challenge as many people to this following email. My mom recently visited Africa and has since learned that she and all of us can purchase a lot of land that can turn into an orphanage…..I cannot describe it any better, so I will just let you read the email straight from Africa!!

Dear Janelle, How are you and the ministry ,How is Rock,Gabe and Tug,the two daughter in-laws and the six grandchildren? hope they are fine in the name of Jesus christ.I am so happy to receive a letter from you once a gain,we are excited .Everybody is fine and the ministry is doing okay.The children and the staff are doing fine .Dad is recovering and getting strong and we thank God for that.  Janelle I know it is the will of God to have those pieces of Land,because if the devil have them it will mean a different thing to the children ministry and the impact it will have to the children within the community.Isaiah 54 as from verse 1 on wards says we should expand to right and to the left and we should not spare.You see people have been coming to buy it and letter disagree,they want to develop it and just everything comes to a stand still.God is still holding that land for us.I totally believe it is the will of God to have those land to his glory.There are territorial demons that control the people in this area and they want to have their agents to posses everything so that they can control the area efectively,but we the children of God are here and we will take charge.    I also believe your ministry is in Africa,Kenya(Matisi and expanding) and your coming will mean a plus to the kingdom of God and destruction to the kingdom of darkness.I know that God is able to abound all grace towards you so that you will be safficient in all things also to preach the word.God wants the people Get saved more than we want,so he will provide,amen.Concerning the people to work with let me also pray about it.     Tell Tug,the ministry that God gave Him is still intact and that is the blessing, wherever he goes he will prosper ,for the path of the just is like a shinning light that shines ever brighter unto a perfect day.Read Deut 28.      Did you get the details that Pst Patricia was asking?Greet her in the name of Jesus . Dorcas is fine and Gloria with everybody around me,Dorcas misses you and longs to see you,Hug that great man of God, Rock we miss him too. Bye for now,you are blessed. Benson  So how can you help…..this land can be purchased right now for a total of 5,000 dollars, and if you would like to help, please either contact me on Facebook, Twitter, email me (tug@willrock4food.com) or my mother at janelle@unreined.com   If we can get 100 $50.00 donations, we are done and imagine how many lives will be touched!!! Here is an actual picture of Benson in the orphanage that was without Mattresses until mom actually was able to assist in the purchasing of the mattresses for this room!!  Let us get them another orphanage!! Let our love be motivated by that of Christ!!!  Let us turn their lives around by our love for God!! Will continue to update people on the process of this!! Unworthy but His and always wanting to Bust Satan in the Mouth!!  Tug Taviano Twitter:  tugtaviano Facebook: Tug Taviano Email: tug@willrock4food.com