Marriage - ON THE SAME LEVEL!

Thank you to the Mendoza family for inspiring this blog, after watching you throughout the 2025-2026 Football Season Leading Your Marriage With Humility, Spiritually and Mentally

There is a quiet kind of leadership that doesn’t need applause. It doesn’t raise its voice, demand attention, or stand taller than others to be seen. Instead, it kneels, listens, and chooses togetherness over recognition. That kind of leadership is most clearly revealed in marriage.

Marriage was never designed to be hierarchical in worth. It is not a platform for dominance, but a partnership of unity. Spiritually and mentally, husbands and wives are meant to walk on the same level, seeing eye to eye, heart to heart, step by step.

One powerful picture of this kind of love and humility is found in the story of Dr. Fernando Mendoza Sr. and his wife, Elsa Mendoza.

A Quiet Act That Spoke Volumes

Elsa Mendoza lives with Multiple Sclerosis, a condition that affects mobility and brings daily physical challenges. Yet her presence beside her husband has never been diminished in importance or value. During the height of excitement at a National Championship game, when their son’s accomplishments were unfolding on a national stage, something remarkable happened.

As the crowd erupted, many stood to cheer. But Fernando Mendoza Sr. did not.

He remained seated.

Not because he lacked pride.Not because he felt less excitement.But because standing would mean standing above his wife.

He chose to experience that moment exactly as she did, so they could enjoy their son’s achievement together, on the same level.

In a moment when hype and celebration could have easily taken precedence, humility led. Love led. Partnership led.

That is what it looks like when marriage is truly a level playing field.

Marriage Is Not About Position, It’s About Posture

Scripture reminds us that God’s design for marriage is rooted in unity, not elevation.

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21

Before Scripture ever talks about a husband’s role or a wife’s role, it begins with mutual submission. That word submit is often misunderstood. It does not mean weakness. It means choosing humility, choosing to consider the other above yourself, choosing unity over ego.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

Leadership in marriage is not about being above your wife. It is about being with her.

Strength Looks Like Staying Seated

Culture often tells men that leadership means being loud, being seen, being in front. But biblical leadership looks different. Jesus Himself modeled this when He washed the feet of His disciples.

“Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.” Matthew 20:26

Fernando Mendoza Sr.’s choice to remain seated was not small. It was strength under control. It was love expressed through restraint. It was a visible reminder that his wife’s experience mattered just as much as his own.

True masculinity does not need to rise above others to feel secure. It chooses to lower itself so that no one is left behind.

Walking Together, Spiritually and Mentally

Being on the same level with your wife means more than physical gestures. It means aligning spiritually and mentally.

It means:

• Listening before leading

• Understanding before correcting

• Praying together instead of assuming

• Making decisions together, not alone
  

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

When a husband and wife walk in unity, God is honored, and strength multiplies.

A Call to Men: Lead With Humility

Men, marriage is not a competition. It is a covenant.

Your wife is not beneath you. She is beside you.Your role is not to overshadow her, but to protect unity.Your leadership is not proven by how high you stand, but by how willing you are to lower yourself in love.

Sometimes leadership looks like standing tall.Sometimes it looks like staying seated.

And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say to your wife is not a word at all, but a choice that says, “Where you are, I will be too.”

That is spiritual leadership.That is mental alignment.That is marriage done God’s way. Thank you to my wife, Heather, for being my teammate, co-captain, and biggest supporter, as I am yours!